Passing Notes
by Kneazle
Summary: Passing notes in class is fun secrets shared, gossip spread... Now the boys are on a mission to find out just what the Hogwarts girls are writing… Will the passing notes be responsible for something no one has ever seen before at Hogwarts?
1. Suspicious, very suspicious…

Passing Notes

Kneazle

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie _Strike_. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas". 

Summary: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just _what_ the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire

A/N: I have no life. I really have no life. Anyway. This is a belated (by two days) birthday gift from me to all of you. I think I need to have this out here to be read. Enjoy.

**-**

CHAPTER ONE: _Suspicious, very suspicious…_

            It was a normal day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The sixth year students bustled around, from class to class, trying to occupy their time. Of course, being the middle of the year, their attention span was low and wavering – to writing and passing each other notes. These notes were collected at the end of the day, saved by the last person to receive the note before midnight, and then started again the next morning. It's quiet something to say that there were a lot of notes floating around! 

            Oh, boy, would it be disastrous if a Professor – or the wrong student – had it within their grasp…

            And that is how the trouble started. 

**-**

            It was Lavender's turn to start the note one rainy, damp April morning. She had been the last to receive the note last night, left out of the loop until this morning. She was guaranteed pardon from the note's final rest. 

            Instead, she picked up her quill early that morning after dressing, and made her way to the Gryffindor table. She had already piled on pancakes, eggs, and bacon when Parvati, Hermione and Ginny joined her. While they talked about things, Lavender concentrated on writing her note. To the untrained eye (the Gryffindor Boys), she looked as if she was working on some last-minute homework. To the girls, well… that was another story.

            _Morning Mio, Gin, Vita –_

_Sleep well, I hope. I was the last to receive the note last night; so, I think it's best if I start this off ASAP! Mandatory GG meeting in our dorm at seven tonight – bring homework as not too look conspicuous. Those guys are getting nosier every day, the hounds that they are. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Anything interesting? Add it on! TTYL –_

_Y__ Lav_

            She finished it off and folded it nicely in a square, before standing up, stretching, and dropping it casually on Hermione's book. Without looking, Hermione lifted the cover and slipped the letter into in inside of her book. Lavender smiled inwardly, before walking out with Parvati to their first class, Defense Against the Dark Arts. They were very lucky to have Professor Lupin back, and no one seemed to mind at all that he was a werewolf. At least, the girls didn't. They thought he was rather cute.

            Together, Parvati and Lavender slipped into their assigned seats in front of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's seats. They were nearly at the front of the classroom, and they enjoyed the view _very_ much. Soon, Hermione walked in to the class, Ron and Harry on either side, pleading with her. 

            "Come on, Herm," whined Ron. "Show us what you slipped into your book."

            "It's none of your business, Ron," huffed Hermione. "And neither is it yours, Harry Potter. What I place in my book is _my_ business and no one else's."

            "But – But, what if it were an important notice? Shouldn't you… open it and read it?" sputtered Ron. 

            "If it was, I would've told you, wouldn't I?" she countered, sliding into her seat. She placed her books down and immediately, Harry's hand snaked towards it. As he lifted the cover, Hermione's hand appeared out of nowhere and slammed it down on his hand. 

            Harry screamed out loud, attracting attention from the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor sixth years. When he pulled his hand away, no letter enclosed, it was red and puffy. 

            Remus Lupin happened to have walked in at that moment, spotting Harry's hand. Concerned, he asked, "Okay there, Harry? Perhaps you'll want to go to the Infirmary to cool that swelling down."

            "Oh, it's all right," piped Hermione. "I'll do it." She pointed her wand at Harry's hand, said, "_coolius_", and watched as the swelling went down. Then, she whispered under her breath, "_blisterious_". Suddenly, Harry's hand was popping with blisters! He yelled, glaring at Hermione.

            "Harry!" said Lupin, "Go to the Infirmary right now!"

            Grumbling, Harry left the classroom. Lavender and Parvati looked at Hermione, who lifted her book cover slightly, before giving them a wink. The three smiled at each other before turning around and paying attention to the lesson. But that wink didn't go unnoticed; oh, on the contrary, Ronald Weasley saw it all, his eyes narrowing into slits. 

            _What's going on here?_ He wondered.

**-**

            During the DADA work period, Hermione got around to writing a hasty note. Ron was always asking her questions, trying to distract her from writing anything down her. Harry had returned, but grumbled every-so-often, his hands far from Hermione as possible.

            _Girls –_

_Look out! These guys want answers – I feel bad for hurting Harry. Should I apologize? Must go, Ron's looking over my shoulder – EEK! _

_            Mio_

            Once she had scribbled the note down, she hurriedly placed it back in her book, before stuffing it in her knapsack. Ron sighed in defeat, but vowed to get the note – no matter what. He recalled when the girls' odd behavior began. It was all the way back in January. Hermione and Ginny began to sit with Parvati and Lavender, apparently growing up and away from the "male influence" they put it as. 

            Of course, Harry and Ron didn't mind. They had to get away from all the "femininity" that Hermione and Ginny gave off. However, Ginny was still best friends with Colin Creevey, and Hermione was tighter than ever with Harry and Ron.

            But it was the way their hands would slap; slip into pockets, knapsacks, while they were walking the halls, or in class, or at breakfast. Everywhere Ron looked, something was disappearing from one person's hand to another's, and he didn't know what was going on… until he accidentally caught something.

            He had been playing chess with Harry, Neville, Dean and Seamus watching, when the girls came in, laughing and giggling as girls do. While they were walking, a piece of parchment fell from behind Hermione's ear (it was to look _casual_), and Ron picked it up to offer it to her. Except, he saw the names "Gin, Vita, Lav" written across it, and opened it up. 

            He had only read the first line ("Honestly, can _Draco_ get any cuter? I mean, for a Slytherin, of course, he _is_ insufferable") before Hermione snatched it from his hand, screaming it was private property, and none of his business to read. Once she had disappeared, he told the others what he read, and the five promised to get to the bottom of the notes, once and for all.

            At the current moment, however, Hermione was doing her homework and nothing looked out of the ordinary. Indeed, Hermione was pouring her knowledge out of her mind and onto the paper she was furiously writing. 

            Dean spotted this and leaned across the aisle, whispering, "so, what did it say?"

            Ron sighed, whispering back, "I don't know. I didn't get a chance to read it but I spotted my name and a few other words. Nothing that would make sense."

            Both teens stole a glance at their bookworm friend, who felt their eyes on her. She looked up, spotted them and nicely (rudely) raised a single finger while going back to writing. Ron's jaw dropped. Seamus whistled on Dean's other side and Dean began laughing. 

            This, of course, caught Professor Lupin's attention, which frowned. "What's so funny, boys?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. This made Dean laugh harder, while Seamus had a fun time trying to keep his poker face on. Ron blushed a deep shade, his ears turning pink. 

            Hermione beamed widely and winked at Lavender and Parvati. While Lupin was quizzing Ron, Seamus and Dean on what they were so amused by, Hermione slipped Parvati her book, with the note in it, and Parvati slipped Hermione a new book. 

            Ron didn't notice until they were heading to potions. Ginny would be joining them, as she had been advancing through potions quickly. As Hermione walked down the hall, she glanced over at Harry. Was he okay? Was he mad for her slamming the cover down on his hand? Hermione felt herself swell a bit with anger. Well! He shouldn't have tried to read the note anyway. Then he would wonder what their GG meeting was all about tonight, might sneak in under the cloak… and everything would be ruined! Worse, what if he _read the notes they passed? _

_Oh, my GOOOOOOOD, Hermione thought, __he would know I fancy him!! OOOOH MY GOOOOD!!!_

Calming her down, Hermione took deep breaths and Harry looked at her funnily. "What are you doing? Is this a new form of yoga in the hallway? What? Do we have a pop potions quiz I didn't know about?"

Hermione shook her head, her breathing regulated. "No. It was nothing."

Harry shot her a look that plainly said, "please. Don't lie to me. I know you better than that."

Hermione bit her lip and looked away. Should she lie to him some more? She and Harry seemed to be closer than she and Ron were at times, despite the fact that they were all best friends. There was just… something about Harry that they could relate to. The fact they grew up with muggles? No, not that. The fact that they were two of the top students in their grade? Nope, not that one either. It was just the way the got together, around… they were closer than brother and sister, but not too close to be dating. They were… content the way they were, and didn't have a name for their relationship. 

Hermione was spared saying anything as they entered the dungeons, and immediately she found her spot beside Ginny. However, Snape didn't seem to want that. 

 "Granger!" he barked. "Partner up with Zabini! Malfoy and Potter! Weasley, you, boy – and Nott are partnered. Other Weasley… Longbottom." Snape's twisted grin turned sour. "What are you waiting for? Today we're making the Judgment potion… just how to people judge you? This potion will reveal if you're popular or not." His gaze flickered over to Harry and his scar. "Well, of course, some of you seem to have a large enough ego so the judgment potion won't really have an effect, will it… hmm, Potter?"

Harry ignored Snape's taunt and set off to moving his cauldron beside Draco Malfoy's desk. He said nothing as he flipped to the appropriate page in his textbook, before writing the ingredients down. 

Hermione sighed, watching the two work silently, often saying something under their breath to tick the other off.

 "Do you fancy him?" came Blaise Zabini's voice. Hermione's head twisted around to the other redhead of the school – Blaise Zabini. Notorious for her skanky dress, beautiful figure, rude attitude and basic Slytherin coldness, she was the last person Hermione would've thought that she'd speak to. 

 "Which one?" she shot back, grinning, as she knew Blaise had fancied Draco for a while now. Blaise blushed, but the color disappeared as soon as it appeared. Snape shot the two of them a note, so Hermione ripped a piece of paper out of her binder and scribbled a note on it.

_B – I do this with my friends a lot. It's much more private. So, do you fancy Draco? – H_

Blaise watched as Hermione slipped the paper wordlessly to the Slytherin. Blaise read it over while she stirred their potion. Hermione watched for Blaise's expression. It was one of shock, but then content. She smiled, took her own quill out and scribbled something back on it, while Hermione took over the stirring and other ingredients. 

_H – I guess so. I think I've always fancied Draco since I can remember at least. He's really sweet when you get to know him, which is weird for a Slytherin quality, but then again, it shows that we're human too. Sometimes I just hate how we're so stereotyped, it makes me so mad! I doubt you Gryffindors don't have any problems like that. How about you? Do YOU fancy Harry? I think you'd make a good couple – but don't tell anyone I said that! I never knew that you and your friends did this. You're right – it makes everything so much more private. And you can express a lot more on paper than with words. I like this idea– It's really cor! – B_

Hermione read the paper with a slow grin on her face. It seemed that Blaise had the same feelings about Draco as she did Harry. The plus was that she wasn't too bad and wasn't really like the other Slytherins were characterized as. Snape, at that moment, said that they would sit in silence for ten minutes while they let their potions shimmer, so it was time for Hermione and Blaise to exchange more notes. 

_B – Aww, that's sweet! I think you should totally go for Draco! Can you imagine him in leather pants??? **Swoons** Yeah, I fancy Harry – but shush! You can't tell anyone, okay? Hardly anyone knows and I wouldn't be able to take a rejection from him, you know? Like, "Aw, Hermione, you're so sweet, but… well, you're a bookworm and I'm the Boy Who Lived. Won't work out, really". I know he's not like that, but I can't help it if my mind wanders like that, lol! You think that Gryffindors don't have that stereotype??? Whoa, girl, what rock have you been under? We're supposed to be the "goody-goodies" and the "really brave ones", remember? We're not all like that. I'm not brave; all I am is a bookworm. So, I guess we're all under stereotypes, Blaise. – H _

_H – Maybe I will. If I do, you'll know about it a lot sooner than the school, I can tell you that!! You're really nice. I'm sorry that I always made fun of you with Pansy and the other Slytherins. They only think you're a bookworm, but you're way more than that. I wish I had gotten to know you sooner. **SLAVE TO STEREOTYPES **– that's us!! As for the whole Harry thing – ask him! There's no harm in that, Hermione. And if he says no, then it's his loss, right?? – B_

_B – Good! I'll really want to know if you and Dra-co get together. You'd make the ultimate couple.  Blaise? No apologizes needed. I understand where you're coming from and I have to say sorry for the same mistake. You're not the person you make us believe you are. HEY! Maybe… maybe Lav, Gin and Vita will allow you to join the GG's! Sure, we'd have to change the name… but… it would be great to have another member. There aren't that many Gryffindor girls, you know – H_

_H – GG? What does that stand for? Oh! "Gryffindor Girls". I get it. Is it like some sort of initiation? And what exactly do you girls do? – B_

_B – I'll have to explain later! Snape is giving me the evil eye! – H_

At that moment, Snape announced, "Time's up! I will now test one of your potions, and if it works, your partner will reveal just what they think of you – judging everything about your looks, the way you act… etc."

He began walking through the silent room, finally stopping before Hermione and Blaise. "Granger and Zabini. Test your potion."

Hermione shrugged. She knew she had concocted it correctly, so it really didn't matter. Snape didn't scare her as much as he had in the past five years. She was growing up, she presumed. 

Taking the ladle, she dipped it into the soft pumpkin color and sipped the sweet potion. Blaise did the same and within moments, Hermione was sizing Blaise up, without her mind's consent. "Well," she began, "I really like her fashion taste. The clashing colours are bright and vibrant, making a statement. Her hair could be toned down a bit – too poofy. Nails… nice. Personality? Someone I'd want to be friends with."

There was a collective gasp from the Gryffindor side of the room and hissing from the Slytherin. Blaise then opened her mouth and began talking about Hermione, judging her completely. "She's pretty. Her hair could use some Sleek N' Easy Spray that the salon in Hogsmeade sells, and she'd be a knockout. Clothing? Well… comfy and conservative. She's completely happy the way she looks and doesn't dress to impress. I like that, and her personality is also someone that I'd want to be friends with."

Gasps now came from the Slytherin side, and silence (a flabbergasted silence) from the Gryffindors. Seconds later, the girls' felt the potions wear off, and a bell rang, signaling the end of class. Gratefully, Hermione gathered her things up and whispered softly, "Meet me in the library after dinner. I'll explain later, and Ginny, Lavender and Parvati will finally decide if you join."

Blaise nodded, watching Hermione walk out with Ron and Harry on either side of her. Lavender and Parvati followed, but her eyes widened as Blaise saw Parvati slip a piece of folded paper in Ginny's hand. 

_They've been doing this for months, she realized. She would never have spotted the quick trade if Hermione had never told her about their notes. She then began walking out of the room with Pansy and Millicent. They both were talking about how unlucky Blaise was to have been paired with Hermione, and wondering how she could have said those things about a Gryffindor. With a start, Blaise realized her friends were doing what she hated most – stereotyping Hermione. _

With a shudder, she blocked them out, heading upstairs to Divination. _Maybe the fates can inform me if being friends with a Gryffindor is wrong… she wondered, pausing. __No, scratch that. I know that answer… yes, I can… but the question is, are people ready for it?_

**-**

            Ginny stifled a yawn as she sat in her sixth-year, advanced Charms class with the Hufflepuffs. She has finished her homework and Flitwick didn't feel like giving her extra credit. Instead, she opened the note that Parvati had slipped her earlier. She reread Hermione's entry about Ron trying to read over her shoulder and read Parvati's reply.

_H – Really? Well smack him on his head then. Stupid git –sorry Gin, you know it's the truth – anyway, what were you saying to Blaise in potions? Anyway, Snape's giving me the "evil eye" – Gin, bring the BUTTERBEER!! – Vati_

            Grinning, Ginny dipped her quill in neon pink ink that she specially used for their notes and wrote a quick reply.

            _Girls – I'll bring the Butterbeer if Lavender remembers to bring the snacks from the kitchen; she forgot last weekend. I was sitting behind you, Herm – did you really pass a note to Blaise? You know that's one of our rules. Isn't it, like, article thirty-one or something in the GG? "Passing a note to another member of the same sex results into a vote in which one would be asked to join the GG or not – majority government granted". Are you considering Blaise Zabini – the girl who helped Pansy Parkinson call you a Mudblood – to join our GG group? We'd have to change the name, though, to HG or something equally as stupid. Anyway, grilled for details at dinner after class – Gin_

            She folded the paper up and realized that they were nearly at the end of their parchment. Shrugging, she watched the remaining minutes of the class tick by, before she bolted from the room and dashed down the hall, heading to Lavender's next class. Lavender was next in line to receive the note, and Ginny didn't want to carry it around all day. Teachers have a knack for knowing when a note is floating around the school, and Ginny had been unlucky once to be caught with one. However, that had been at the beginning of their GG career, so they (being Hermione, Lavender, Parvati and herself) had gotten much better in concealing the notes and swamping them. 

            Tapping her foot, the Transfiguration door opened, and Lavender stepped out. Ginny slid the note quickly into her robe pocket and dashed away to Care of Magical Creatures. Lavender waved and began walking up to her Charms class with the Ravenclaws.

            As Lavender, Parvati and Hermione passed a group of sixth year Ravenclaws also heading to their Charms class, the loud and obnoxious voice belonging to Cho Chang reached their ears. 

            "Pity Dumbledore held her back a year for failing all her exams," sighed Parvati. 

            "More like pity for Hermione. We all know that Cho is after Harry," counted Lavender. Hermione shrugged.

            "No big deal," she said, her voice soft. 

Lavender turned her friend around to face her and Parvati, stopping Hermione from walking. With hands on the girl's shoulders, Lavender said, "Hermione, it _is a big deal if you fancy Harry so. Now, look at her." Lavender, Parvati and Hermione turned, all three of them looking over the other schoolmate's shoulders to find Cho. She and her entourage had surrounded Harry, Ron, Dean, Neville and Seamus, and she was saying something to Harry. _

"Bugger," muttered Parvati, "What the bloody hell does she think she's doing?"

With that said, the three girls charged down the hall, backtracking their steps, and sidled up beside some of the boys, trying to stop Cho from holding conversation with Harry. 

"Hey," smiled Lavender, leaning against Ron, placing an elbow on his shoulder. Even with her heels hidden beneath her robes, Lavender was a good foot shorter than he was. 

"Hey yourself," smiled Ron, his ears turning a bit red. Hermione noticed and chuckled. She turned, and linked arms with Harry and Seamus. 

"Well, lovely to see you again, Cho, but these boys have a date with me and the other Gryffindors to get to our Charms class before Flitwick takes, like… twenty points from Gryff – ta!"

Seamus laughed aloud, gaily walking with Hermione who was practically skipping away from Cho. Harry whispered in her ear, "Thanks. You saved me."

Hermione grinned but said nothing. She just walked into the Charms room, wondering just what Ginny had written.

**-**

            Lavender groaned. She had _totally forgot about their girls' night tonight. And if they voted Blaise in, how would they all get together? She bit her lower lip in thought, ignoring Flitwick's hand structure lecture and bounced her leg. She took a quill from her pencil case and dipped it in the ink, scribbling a note down._

            _Girls – What are we going to do about Blaise Zabini, hmmm? Is she going to become one of us?? I honestly wouldn't mind, but since dinner is next, we should vote. Anyway: next topic. It's not MY fault I keep forgetting the Butterbeer… I just had a very… special night. Mio, btw, can you mooch the Marauder's Map off Emerald-Eyes? We can maybe find this amazing vacant room for our meetings. You know enough charms to make it not appear on the Map or have a password to open the door to! LAHAK, Lav_

            Folding it with satisfaction, Lavender looked around the room. Ron's eyes were on her, watching her every move. Flitwick was content with reading an enormous book that hid his face from the class. 

            "What?" mouthed Lavender, glaring at Ron. He looked startled, but shrugged, pointing at her note.

            "What did you write?" he mouthed back.

            "None of your business!"

            Lavender then turned, her nose up and tapped Hermione on the shoulder. Hermione, who sat in front of her and Parvati lifted a hand and the note was pressed in it, while Lavender received a page full of charms notes. 

            Ron gaped. 

            Hermione unfolded it and read the content, and nodded at Lavender. The rest of the class went by in a blur.

**-**

            The Great Hall was loud, crowded and bubbly. That was the only way to describe it. Hermione sat with Ginny, Lavender and Parvati at the very end of the Gryffindor table, all the way by the wall. They didn't want anyone eavesdropping on them. 

            "So." Hermione rapped her goblet twice on the table. No one but the three girls looked at her. "I call this semi-GG meeting to order. We are considering the admission of another member, named Blaise Zabini. All in favor for the addition say 'aye' now."

            "Aye," the three girls chorused. Hermione nodded at each member. 

            "Very well. Tonight, I am to meet with Blaise Zabini as the leader of the GG's. We will then think of a new name, and I will see if I can get Emerald-Eyes' map. Semi-meeting adjourned."

            After that, the girls went down to their usual selves, talking and giggling. 

            Ron watched for afar, his mind whirring at one million miles per hour. "I just don't get it. I just _really don't get it." He said._

            "Get what?" mumbled Colin Creevey through his turkey sandwich. Ron turned to face Colin, disbelief written all over his freckled face. 

            "You mean to tell me that you haven't seen what has been going for the past couple of months?" whispered Ron. This caught Dean, Seamus and Harry's attention. Neville had already been paying attention since the beginning of what Ron said. 

            "Seen what?" replied Colin. 

            "The notes!" he hissed, his red face coming closer over the table. The other boys leaned in too. They all looked at each other clandestinely, before Ron continued. "You see, the girls are up to something. I know they are, because they kept giggling and passing each other _notes."_

            "So?" mumbled Neville. "Girls always pass each other notes."

            "For months at a time, one note per class? What is some important that Parvati has to write something to Ginny, who in turn gives it to Lavender and then Hermione all within two periods?"

            No one answered. Ron leaned in farther, with the boys so their heads nearly touched. 

            "I think they're hiding something, and I plan to find out what it is," he answered. "I want to know _who they're talking about, __what they're talking about and more. Anyone with me?"_

            Dean, Seamus and Colin nodded, enthusiastically, while Harry looked doubtful. "You know, I don't want Hermione made at me. You saw her after she slapped Malfoy… his cheek was red for days!"

            "They won't find out," said Ron smoothly. Harry still looked doubtful, but when Neville agreed to snoop for them, he sighed. 

            "You know what, I won't be involved in this, but I'll help in any way I can, okay? I'll get you items you might need or cover for you, but I won't do the actual snooping," he finally said. Ron clapped him on the back. 

            "Knew you'd do it, mate," he laughed. With that said, he glanced over at where the girls were, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "It's time to spy!"

**-**

            Blaise sat in the uncomfortable library chairs. She was twiddling her thumbs, trying to pass the time until Hermione appeared. Or was she already here? Blaise once heard some odd rumor that Hermione never left the library…

            No, there she was, stepping through the doors, with her reading glasses sitting on the end of her nose as she was trailing her finger across something written in a book. Blaise resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, in a library with Hermione Granger, and with Granger reading a book. What more could happen?

            "Blaise," a voice said. Blaise took her blue eyes off where Hermione last was (_Where did she go?) to see a note sitting squarely on the table before her. Narrowing her eyes, she looked around the library but didn't see anyone. _

            Opening it up, she saw Hermione's now familiar handwriting go: 

_Votes are cast, ballots are in – Blaise Zabini, (this poem is actually really shitty)… but! Will you join us? Go you must – You will find the GG, hiding behind the Statue of Kenarily. Password is "Maghalena"._

            Her eyes wide in surprise, Blaise racked her brain for where the Statue of Kenarily was. She knew Kenarily, Misty that was, was an important witch (a feminist!) back in the dark days of the 1300s. She was located somewhere in the East wing, and now it was up to Blaise to find her. 

            She jumped out of her seat in the library, before casually walking away. She stopped just outside the door and sighed. This was exactly like a Muggle Treasure Hunt… Blaise had always hated those things. But for some reason, her nerves ran wild and she was tingling from head to toe. It was like…

            No way. 

            She _wanted the Gryffindor girls to __LIKE her. She __wanted to be a GG. _

            Oh God. She sounded so…

            Sappy.

Laughing to herself, Blaise snickered as she began to systematically go from the seventh floor down, finally finding the statue an hour later on the fourth floor, right by the prefect's bathroom. 

            The statue was pretty cor; Kenarily was beautiful, wearing a long, WIDE, mediaeval gown. Blaise pulled her wand out, placed the tip against a small pearl that was lining her dress. 

            "Maghalena," said Blaise, confused at the title. The gown parted, and Blaise stooped to get through the small opening. 

            Within seconds, she was in awe. 

            Hermione seemed to have charmed the room's ceiling to sparkle with the stars permanently. Though the walls were an awful off-white, in the middle of the room sat Ginny, Hermione, Lavender and Parvati poring over come catalogue. 

            "Hi," said Blaise, unsure of how awkward she sounded.

            The four girls looked up, smiles breaking across their faces. "Come, come, sit!" they ushered, waving her in to their group. Blaise did, and sat Indian-style. 

            "What are we looking at?" she asked.

            "Color catalogues. We're thinking of 'painting' the room, but we don't know what color," replied Hermione. "What do you think?"

            "Something that goes well with the feel of the room," she sighed. "The ceiling is wonderful."

            "Thank Hermione and Lavender for that one. They were the only ones who could find the charm to do that, and Ginny was the only one who could figure out how to make the Marauder's Map think you turned away from here… simple repealing charm placed on the room and all those who enter," winked Parvati, laughing. 

            "Wow!" laughed Blaise, feeling at ease. "Is this whole room spelled?"

            "Pretty much. But we've also spelled some of our Muggle items to bring in here. Our dorm is far too cluttered anyway," shrugged Ginny. 

            "But… you're a year…" Blaise trailed off. 

            "Ginny's the only fifth year student," explained Lavender, "At the beginning of the year, Dumbledore allowed her to bunk with us, and she _is taking mostly advanced classes to graduate with us too."_

            "You must be a genius," praised Blaise. 

            "Hardly," giggled Ginny, "I'm only good in Potions, Charms and Arithmacy."

            Before long, the girls had chosen to do the walls black-purple (with glow paint splattered on), and had begun to place lights up around the room when Hermione yawned. 

            "Well, its getting late girls; ten. If we don't leave now, we'll be caught outta our Houserooms and given detention," she predicted, brushing the sweat brown hair off her shoulder. 

            "Right. We should all get going back," agreed Blaise. Self-consciously, she lowered her eyes and asked shyly, "So I'm part of the GG?"

            "No," shook Lavender. Blaise's expression fell. "You're part of the Brit Witches… Blaise Zabini."

            Blaise looked up, shocked. They had changed the name just for her? She felt so… she couldn't put it into words, but it was like her veins were bursting with inner light at the mere thought. Smiling, she beamed, "Thanks… you guys… are pretty cool."

            The girls laughed. "Well," said Parvati, "Our next meeting is tomorrow night, here – say… right after dinner? We'll work on this place some more!"

            With that, they all took off to their respected Houses, some happier than others, for – for Blaise, it was the first time she was with friends who really cared. 

**-**


	2. Moron: A stupid or annoyingly ignorant p...

Passing Notes

Kneazle

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie _Strike_. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas". 

Summary: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just _what_ the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire

**-**

CHAPTER TWO: _Moron: A stupid or annoyingly ignorant person; Harry Potter_

            Ron Weasley was up and ready to track some notes down the next morning. He had fallen asleep in the Common Room, waiting for Hermione, Lavender, Ginny and Parvati to return from wherever they were. Hermione had borrowed Harry's Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map as well. Ron couldn't fathom what they would be using them for. 

            Finally, with much exuberance, he pushed up his robe's sleeves and stomped out of the Common Room and down to the Great Hall, where Hermione, Ginny, Lavender, Parvati and –

            He stopped mid-stride, and fell over his own feet. 

            When he pushed himself up and off the floor, the Great Hall was bursting with laughter. His ears turning crimson, Ron made his way to his usual breakfast spot and slumped down in his seat. Harry, trying to hide his grin, turned to Ron and asked, "So… had a nice trip?"

            "That's the oldest line in the book, Potter," mumbled Ron, looking down at his eggs and bacon. They formed a grinning happy-face, and Ron scowled; before he scrambled the eggs up, that is. 

            "Ooh, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," taunted Dean, smirking. "What's up your arse, Weasley?"

            "Nothing," he mumbled back, before glancing down at one end of the table and then at the Slytherin side. "Since when does Blaise Zabini sit with the Gryffindors and eat breakfast with us?"

            Neville shrugged. "Um, I guess since today. That would be most logical since the Slytherins weren't shooting her dirty looks yesterday, or the day before that, or the day _before_ **that**…"

            "I get it Neville," replied Ron blandly. 

            Harry chortled. "Well, I'm off. Need to ask Mione about our potions assignment."

            The boys choked on their food and looked up at Harry in surprise. "Need to ask _Hermione_ about our potions assignment??" blurted Seamus. "Crikey, Potter, how much do you fancy this girl?"

            "I don't fancy Hermione," said Harry, but a faint tinge appeared on his cheeks. He nervously flattened his fringe, a habit that always gave him away. 

            "Uh huh," said Neville, rolling his eyes and returning to his sausages. He speared at it, and lifted it up, examining it. "Do you ever think that sausages – if they had voices – would scream out, 'eat me! Eat me!' when you wanted to eat them?"

            This caused all attention to be moved over to Neville and off Harry, who slunk away. Colin stared agape at Neville before snapping his mouth shout and turning his attention to his own sausages piled with ketchup. 

            Seamus shook his head. "Neville, you're an arse."

**-**

            BGs – OMG, did you just hear what I did? Does the great "Boy Who Lived" fancy our _MIO_??? AWWWW!! Well, it's time to play matchmaker – I'm enlisting help!! We _CANNOT_ let our dear Mio know what is going on! Pass this note about – including the boys, write your mastermind plan down here, Gin – and then we'll see what we can do about those two lovely-doves. Your friendly neighborhood drug, Lav!

            Lavender folded the note up, and when Harry turned around to tap Hermione on the shoulder, she slipped it into Blaise's hands. Blaise unfolded it, read it quickly and grinned. She began rubbing her hands together evilly.

            Hermione, looking out of her peripheral vision, suddenly felt her blood run cold. Did she really trust the dangerous glint in those girls' eyes? _Um, let me think about it for a second… NO_, she thought, shuddering. Harry noticed it, though. 

            "Are you cold?" he asked, his eyes betraying his worry for his love. 

            "Um… no," said Hermione, blinking. "I was just… erm… thinking… YES! That's it, thinking. You know my bookworm types, always thinking about stuff up here!" she tapped her head to emphasize the point.

            Harry looked at her unconvincingly, but nodded. "Right. So, can you help me with our assignment tonight?"

            "Um…" Hermione let the word slip off her tongue, really thinking about it. Should she leave their fabbity-fab-fab secret room be placed in the (capable – hahaha) hands of the BGs? I think not!

            "Harry, I'm sorry, I can—"

            "She'll meet you in the Common Room at seven tonight, right after dinner. It'll be marvy!" supplied Ginny, piping up for her best friend. Hermione turned around to glare at her, but saw her other friends were nodding their heads enthusiastically. 

            Harry beamed at Hermione. "Great! I'll see you then."

            "Harry," began Hermione slowly, crossing her legs. She noticed Harry gulped when he glanced down at her more exposed skin, "We have five out of seven classes together today, including first period. You're going to be seeing me all day."

            A blush crept onto Harry's face. He flashed her his pearly whites, laughing slightly. "Hee, yeah, I seemed to have forgotten about that – slipped my mind… hee."

            Hermione gave him a "right you are" look, and watched him slump back towards his friends, muttering, "Sometimes he can be such a prat."

            Parvati giggled. "Well, an adorable prat, Mio. Please, look at him blush all over you! He's so marvy!"

            "And I'm the bloody Queen of Scotland," scorned Hermione, rolling her eyes. 

            Blaise shook her head. "Honestly, Mio. The guy really rates you. Don't go having a nervy b just because Parvati thinks he's gorgey."

            Hermione spazzed. "I am not having a nervy b!"

            There was silence between Ginny, Lavender, Parvati and Blaise for a few seconds before they all cracked up laughing at a fuming Hermione. 

            "I'm going to the library!" she huffed, and was up and out of her seat within seconds, with lavender weakly calling after her midst her giggles and tears, "Mio! Wait, we were only joking! Come back! NOOOOOO, come back!!"

            Then she collapsed on the table, laughing. 

**-**

            Of course, down at the boys' end of the table, they were staring at the girls laughing at something Hermione had said, which ultimately made her angry. Ron shook his head, but his eyes widened when she saw Blaise wipe a tear from her eye, crumple up a piece of paper she had in her hands and casually toss it towards them. 

            Harry caught it before it hit Colin's ketchup-y plate with his seeker skills and unfolded it. He paled when he read it. 

            "What is it, mate?" asked Ron, snatching the paper from the pale Harry. While he read it, tiny chuckles escaped from him, and every now and then he snorted. He flattened out the note, while the other boys crowded around it to read Blaise's handwriting. 

            Gryffs – Well, obviously Harry rates Mio – he blushes like mad whenever she's in the same room as him! Now, what we need is YOUR help (Merlin help us) to set the two of them up. Ron, Harry, she's _your_ best friend, and you boys know some things about her that we girls don't. So we are enlisting your help in the GHAHTM (Get Hermione and Harry Together Mission). Do you accept? We're open till seven all day long for ideas! – Blaise

            Colin's eyes widened. "They want our help?" 

            Ron looked up, about to say something, when his eyes dropped to Colin's shirt. His tie was dunked in his ketchup, and Ron told him that before continuing, "Yes, I suppose they do. Shall we accept?"

            All the boys nodded, and Ron scribbled a note back. 

Girls – we accept. Tell us what to do; we are your slaves (ha, ha, j/k)

            Harry was ready to strangle Ron at the last comment, but managed to keep his cool. They boys watched as Ron stood, gathered his things and together with Harry, the two of them walked by the girls' table, dropping the note on their books. They giggled, unfolding it, but Harry didn't see the rest, because he was out the door and heading to Charms. 

**-**

            Ginny watched with satisfaction as the note was dropped back on their side of the table. They had replied, praise the wizard! She unfolded the note and burst out laughing. 

            At once, Lavender demanded to know what they had written. When Ginny read it aloud, Lavender, Blaise and Parvati also ended up on the table, laughing once again. Of course, the other Gryffindors thought there was something wrong in the pumpkin juice (they thought that George and Fred had somehow slipped something in them, via their Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in Hogsmeade) and promptly set their goblets down. 

            Ginny leaned in towards the table and whispered, "So what is the plan?"

            Lavender shrugged. "Bugger me if I know. I just want to get the two of them together!" The girls laughed, gathered their items up, and began to head towards their first class, which happened to be DADA with Remus Lupin. 

**-**

            "Hermione?" asked Harry, as he stepped into the vacant DADA room. Instead of heading to the library, like she said she did, Hermione had vouched to spend her time in DADA. Ginny wouldn't be in this class, and she didn't quite feel like talking to Lavender, Parvati or Blaise at the moment. Actually, she didn't want to talk to _anyone_ at the moment. 

            That "anyone" also included Harry Potter. 

            It wasn't like she didn't _like_ him, no; it was more like she didn't want to face him. Instead, she looked up, grudgingly, and asked plainly, "Yes Harry?"

            Harry sat in the seat before her, sitting backwards in the seat so he could rest his arms on the back of the chair. He looked up at her with his gorgeous emerald green eyes. 

            What a sec, did she just think gorgeous? Pause and rewind; she did. Hermione coughed and looked away. 

            "Is something wrong?" Harry finally asked. 

            "No," she squeaked. She cleared her throat and said normally, "No, not at all. What ever gave you that idea, Harry?"

            "You're avoiding me."

            "I am not."

            "And you always seem to deny it."

            "I do not!!"

            "See."

            Hermione opened her mouth to reply _and_ deny that action, but thought of it, and realized he was right. Instead, she busied herself with opening her DADA book and sticking her nose in it. She proceeded in reading the line: _"… and in 1845, the dark wizard Salem of Manito was defeated by none other than Lord Falcon of Lower Canada, which is Quebec today…"_

            "Hermione?" 

            Harry's voice was so soft and husky, Hermione freaked. She looked up, startled, and blushed. He was looking at her intently, his eyes ablaze. He still sat in the chair, but it seemed closer to her. The room seemed much hotter than it was earlier, and she wondered if they turned on the heating charms. 

            _What is going on?_ She wondered, swallowing a lump in her throat as Harry stood slowly and leaned over her desk towards her. 

            "Harry?" she whispered, aware of just how close he was getting, and how empty the classroom was. 

            The bell echoed someone off in the distance of her conscious, but all Hermione could seem to focus on was Harry's eyes. Those eyes were the _only_ pair that could make her heartbeat quicken at a single glance, or make her knees go weak. 

            Since when?

            Apparently since now.

            Hermione tilted her head slightly to the side, her eyes fluttering close. She could feel Harry's breath against her cheek, and within seconds felt his lips brush hers –

            The door burst open by Remus Lupin, who came striding in, humming to a tune. Hermione and Harry jumped apart, and only then did Remus notice them. 

            "Oh, hello!" he beamed at them, before looking at them suspiciously. "What are you two doing in here so early in the morning?"

            "Nothing!" they both stuttered, sitting in their respective desks. Remus looked at the two of them through narrow eyes, and opened his mouth to say something more when a few more students flittered in. He shut his mouth, though the narrow-eyed look didn't disappear. 

            Once everyone had arrived, only then did he return to his usual bubbly self in beginning a lecture about the vampire and crossbreds of some Siren-Vampire thing. 

            Hermione was diligently copying down notes when a crumpled piece of paper landed in the middle of them, the ink (still not dry) smudging a bit. 

            She curiously looked around the room, but everyone was watching Professor Lupin and listening to him. She opened the parchment up and let her eyes widen. 

            Hermione, I am very sorry about this morning. I hope that I did nothing that could have ruined our friendship. Though… I wish we were not interrupted. Forgive me? Love your friend, Harry

            Hermione would've died on the spot if she were allowed to. He wanted to kiss her! He thought she was mad at him! Oh, joyous day, oh Holy Heaven above, Hermione was on Cloud Nine – no, wait, she was on Cloud Ninety-nine!

            "… Miss Granger?"

            Hermione's bubble popped when she heard her name being called upon. She looked up from the parchment she was clutching against her chest and spotted Professor Lupin at the front of the class, tapping his foot. The class was laughing, and Hermione felt her cheeks burn. 

            "Yes?" she squeaked. 

            "Can you tell us the answer?"

            "To… what?" she squeaked again. Never had she ever been called upon when she didn't know the answer… hell, she didn't even know the **question**. What was this, a bloody conspiracy against her happiness? Damn the government – wait, no, that's another story. 

_Damn the Education system!_

"I believe the question was whether or not it is safe to use the silver bullet to slow a vampire-siren down or not," helped Professor Lupin. He was looking at Hermione expectantly. In truth, Hermione never knew if you could use a silver bullet to slow the what's-it-called-half-breed-thing. In truth, Hermione never read that chapter. 

In truth, Hermione (for once in her life) didn't know the answer. 

"Um…" she trailed off and recalled what her Muggle friend Alex had once said: "If you don't know the answer to something, then it's either 'yellow', 'Minnesota' or 'forty-two'". So, Hermione decided to try one of them. "Forty-two?"

The class roared with laughter. It wasn't every day they saw academic star Hermione Granger not know the answer to something. 

            Professor's Lupin's eyebrows shot so far up they disappeared underneath his hair. He blinked once, twice, and then: "Miss Granger… did you just say the answer to the question is forty-two?"

            "Indeed I did," grinned weakly Hermione. She stole a glance at Lavender and Parvati, whose jaws were almost touching the ground in shock, to Ron, who was laughing with silent laughter with tears running down his face, and to Harry who was staring back at her, a knowing smirk on his face. 

            Smirk?

            God, no – Hermione's brain went on a total shutdown. Harry was _smirking_ at her, like he knew that his words could have affected her that way. What was she? A bloody Victorian flower that fainted in warm weather? Um, excuse me, she was **not**.

            "Actually, Professor Lupin, pardon me for joking with you and the class," began Hermione. "You see, you cannot use a silver bullet to kill a… um, well, whatever that thing is. That's only used for werewolves, and on the occasional zombie. Vampires, no matter what kind or offspring or hybrid _must_ be killed with a stake through the heart."

            Professor Lupin let out a held breath. "Ten points to Gryffindor, Miss Granger. You gave me quite a shock there," he then smiled, and was going to continue when the bell rang. Class was over, and the students were soon packing their things together for their next class. 

            Hermione was among the many students who rushed out for once, and only when she was on the grounds heading to Herbology did Lavender, Parvati and Blaise catch up with her. 

            "Did I just hear right?" panted Blaise, the first to arrive at Hermione's side. "That you almost didn't know the answer to a question in DADA?"

            Hermione sighed, frustrated. "You heard correct then. News travels fast."

            "You'd never guess," she replied. They walked a bit in silence, when Lavender and Parvati joined them. Hermione was only a few yards away from the Herbology Greenhouse Two when Lavender asked, "What happened? You stalled, and then jumped right back in."

            Hermione stopped walking, and the other three did too. Finally, she sighed. "Want to skip?"

            "WHAT?" exclaimed three voices. Hermione rolled her eyes.  

            "Please. You want to know why? I'll tell you. In our BW room, okay?"

            The girls all glanced worriedly at each other. Had they created a monster? First not knowing an answer, and now wanted to skip… was this the Hermione Granger they all knew?

            "Okay," said Lavender pleasantly, her worries cast aside. The other two agreed, and soon they were sipping hot chocolates in their star-lit covered ceiling. 

            "So what happened?" repeated Parvati, her voice soft and concerned. Hermione took a deep breath and fished out the parchment Harry had written on earlier. After she had read it aloud, Blaise asked, "What's so bad about that?"

            "He was _smirking _at me!" exclaimed Hermione, falling backwards on one of the many millions of pillows in the room. 

            "Smirking? So?" asked Blaise. "Draco's always is smirking at me."

            Lavender rolled her eyes. "There's a difference Blaise… Draco _always_ does that. Harry doesn't. Ding-ding, anyone home?"

            Blaise looked slightly put out, but said nothing. Instead, she asked, "Then what?"

            "It was, well… like he _knew_ he'd have that effect on me. Like I'm suppose to turn to jelly every time he looks at me," she confessed. "I don't like having that feeling. It's like I'm a part of his fan club now and not his best friend anymore."

            Lavender patted Hermione's shoulder. "Don't worry Mio. Some guys… well, they are just better friends."

            Hermione sniffed, and sat upright. She hugged a pillow to herself, and looked at the floor dejectedly. "I really rated him. And I thought he rated me too."

            "He does," revealed Parvati. "It doesn't take a bloody genius to figure that one out."

            "Someone say my name?" asked a voice from the doorway. Ginny stepped in, bowing. "The genius is in."

            "Are you also the Love Doctor? We've got a serious case right here," pointed Lavender, at Hermione. Hermione rudely stuck a finger up at her. 

            "Temper, temper," the Gryffindor girls chanted, and Blaise giggled. Finally, Ginny sat down and patted Hermione's knee. 

            "Now, now, Hermione darling," she began in her best "I Am Draco Malfoy" voice, "Tell Aunty Ginny – your highly-paid agony aunt – all about your woes."

            Hermione groaned but complied. "Basically, guys are jackasses."

            Ginny's eyebrows shot up. "Pardon me?"

            "You heard what I said. Harry just thinks that he has this… like, cosmic affect on me, making my knees go all jellied and my memory spazz," revealed Hermione, slapping her hands on the pillow. It squeaked back, "NOT SO HARD, MISSY!"

            She smiled and smoothed the pillow down in apology. "Anyway. Sure, that _does_ happen, but I don't like him feeling all superior about it. It makes me feel insignificant around him, like his stardom and status are so high above mine, he's doing _me and __favor by wanting to kiss me."_

            Ginny looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping her fingers against her chin. Finally, after many "hums", she said, "Well. If you ask me"—

            "We're not."

            "—I think you just want someone to love or fancy you for who you are, and you don't want to feel insecure about it. Harry is obviously making you feel that way," she exposed. "He obviously hurt you… in, erm, some way… and that pisses you off."

            "No shoite," snapped Hermione, before looking crestfallen again. Ginny continued. 

            "Well, don't think _all guys are going to be like that. I think you need some good ol' R and R away from my brother and Harry. Maybe he'll grow up," she suggested. _

            Hermione's eyes brightened up. "You think?"

            "I know," nodded Ginny confidently. "C'mon. Dinner's about to start, and we'll catch a meal before heading back here for some gossip." She grinned and winked the last part giggly. 

            Hermione jumped up and nodded. "All right!" She pumped her fist in the air and disappeared out the room door. 

**-**

            "I hate all blokes," Hermione muttered as she stomped out of the Great Hall. Lavender, Parvati, Blaise and Ginny were sitting hopefully on the stairs on the opposite side of the room. 

            "I take it didn't go so well," snickered Lavender. Hermione shot her a McGonagall look-a-like glare. Lavender stopped snickering at once. 

            "You're bloody right it didn't! Guys are so… so…" Hermione's hands wavered about, as she tried to find the correct word to use.

            "Hermione?" asked Blaise, seriously concerned for her friend. "What happened?"

            At this, Hermione stopped muttering "so", and turned to Blaise. She let out a tiny squeal of anger and stomped her foot down on the step, promptly getting it stuck. 

            "You want to know what happened? I'll tell you!" she began…

            Hermione walked into the Great Hall, determined that Harry was just acting that way because… well, it was the Harry thing to do when he fancied someone. 

            "Hermione, over here!" he waved at her, pointing to a seat beside him. She flashed him a grateful smile and graciously sank into the chair. A loud, rippling noise echoed behind her. 

            Flabbergasted and humiliated as the Great Hall burst into laughter, Hermione looked up and pulled out a Whoopee Cushion. Her mouth opened and closed without any words forming. 

            Ron, Dean, Seamus, Colin, Neville, and yes, Harry, were all laughing and pointing at her. Hermione stood up. 

            "Did you do this on purpose, Harry?" she asked quietly, aware just how silent the Great Hall now was. Every pair of eyes was on her, including the Professor's. 

            "Y-Yes," he choked out while wiping tears of delight from his eyes. His glasses were lop-sided and loosely hanging off his ears. Hermione thought he looked cute, but didn't let the thought faze her. He had just done something she never thought he was so juvenile to do.

            "I see," she said, scraping the chair back. She pushed in it to the table, nodding. "I see. Too bad I never saw it before. You're a stupid, self-center, little arrogant wanker! I can't believe I was ever a friend to you! I thought you were better than all the other, stupid tossers around here… you all deserve each other!"

            "Oh, Mione," sighed Harry, still getting over his laughing spree, "Don't get your knickers in a twist… I was only kidding you. Say, how about it if I treat you to lunch in Hogsmeade this weekend? Is it a date?"

            "I'd rather say yes to a _RAT!" Hermione snapped, picking up her goblet. "Maybe this can pour some sense into you!" With that, she dumped her drink on Harry's head. Ron started laughing, pointing at Harry and chanted, "DISSED AND DISMISSED!"_

            Hermione walked out of the Great Hall, some applause scattered behind her…

            "So I think all guys are jackasses," she declared, as Lavender and Parvati helped her out of the step. Ginny nodded forcefully while Blaise began snarling, "those _bastards!"_

            "Hermione?" a new voice asked. Startled, Lavender and Parvati loosened their grip on Hermione who shrieked and went tumbling down the Great Hall's staircase. She landed at the foot of the stars, looking up at three people with blonde pigtails, wide green eyes, blue, paint-stained overalls…

            Wait, now there were two girls…

            And now one…

            "… Hermione? Hermione, are you all right?" she asked, bending over slightly. 

            "Oh, hullo there Susan," mumbled Hermione, again being helped up by Lavender and Parvati. She glared at them when they let her go. "I don't trust you two…"

            The five of the BW's turned around to face Hannah Abbott, who was nervously wringing her hands. Behind Susan Bones stood Padma Patil, Sally-Ann Perks and Cho Chang. 

            "Can we help you?" asked Blaise as she flipped her gorgeous red hair back over her shoulder. It was her trademark Slytherin quality – her looks plus her cool attitude gave her grace over all the other Brit Witches. Hermione busied herself by brushing her robes off. 

            "Actually," Susan said, nervously, "We all saw and heard what Harry did to you Hermione…" She bit her lip when Hermione tensed, "And we all thought… well… what he did was wrong, especially to one of his best friends…"

            Hermione looked up. "What?" she asked dumbfounded. 

            Cho Chang nodded. "Yes, that's right," she spoke softly, and her straight black hair bobbed when she nodded again. "We're very sorry and if there is anything you – or your friends – ever need from Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, we'll gladly be there to help you."

            At this, Hermione began to grin. "That's so sweet, thank you." As the girls turned to go, she called out, "So you think they are being jackasses?"

            Sally-Ann nodded. "That's a given."

            Padma, looking exactly like her twin, snorted. "It's like they get dumber ever year. All the gorgey blokes are graduating this year, or have girlfriends already."

            Hermione's grin widened. "_Rrrrrreaaally." _

            Cho nodded. "I should know, being one of those graduates." At this, Ginny could almost see the light bulb turn on and the wheels in Hermione's brain start to grind. 

            "Hermione… what are thinking?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes. 

Hermione smiled at the five girls before saying "Excuse us for a minute."

Blaise, Ginny, Lavender, Parvati and Hermione all huddled together. Hermione began her preposition. "Girls of the Brit Witches… hello? All the girls in the school saw what happened between Harry and I. They _sympathize with me – so, hello, we can make a **revolution**!"_

"Mio, are you sure you aren't taking this thing with Harry too far?" asked Ginny carefully. Blaise nodded furiously. 

At this, Hermione bit her lip. "Maybe. Maybe I am… but… he nearly kissed me… you all say that he fancies me, and you know I fancy him. Why act that way? I can hardly believe he would do that to me… but…"

At this, Lavender felt a pang. Ron never noticed her. She was always around Hermione when they were with Harry and Ron, and she tried every flirt, trick and kiss-and-tell thing she knew that was written in the book. Maybe… _maybe this was the very thing to get him to notice her. _

            "First off," began Lavender, "Harry probably did that because of a dare. He wouldn't do that purposefully. Secondly, where do I sign up?"

            Hermione squealed and hugged Lavender tightly. "Oooh, Lavvy, you're the best."

            Blaise and Ginny's jaws dropped. Parvati stared at her friend. "ARE YOU NUTTERS??"

            Hermione shook her head. "No way. Aren't you sick and tired of guys always besting us? Why not give us girls a first choice? Did you know, that in 1893, the Aurors Incorporated only took on _male wizards for the job? It was completely unethical…"_

            "Spare us the lecture, Mio, we're in," sighed Ginny, running a hand down her face. Hermione grinned and turned around to face the five other House girls. 

            "So, girls…" she began mischievously. "Ever heard of the Brit Witches?"

**-**

Meanwhile, back in the Gryffindor Common Room, Harry sat in a scarlet armchair, his head in his hands, pressed between his knees. 

"Ron," he moaned, "You told me that Hermione fancied laid-back and joking kind of guys… She hates me now!"

Ron shrugged. "How was I supposed to know that jokesters weren't her type? You didn't have to take my, or Fred and George's advice."

            Harry glanced up and gave Ron the look he usually reserved for Malfoy and Voldemort. "Ron, if Hermione hates me, because of that"—

            "Then you relax," coaxed Ron, slipping into an armchair opposite his best friend. "You got one of the types of guys she doesn't like out of the way. Because of that, we are completely and utterly certain she _detests jokesters… there goes my chance with her – hahaha, Harry don't look at a me that way… ANYWAY! Let's try another type then."_

            Seamus and Dean scuffled over. "How about Bad Boy? Or… preppie? No, no… rapper!" they began to babble incoherently as they began to fuss over Harry's hair. 

            He swatted them away. "Do I even have a choice in this?" he asked Ron. 

            His freckled, redheaded friend shook his head, while pushing Harry up the stairs towards the Boy's Dorm. "None, whatsoever, friend."

            As they were climbing the stairs, the portrait opened and the Gryffindor girls stepped through. 

            "Hermione!" Harry called, breaking away from Ron and jogging down the steps to rest before her. He looked her in the eye and said, "Hermione, please, forgive me – this is all Ron's idea, it's crazy…"

            "What are you going on about, Harry?" asked Hermione. "Can't you see we're busy? Goodnight."

            She had "dissed and dismissed" him as Ron had said earlier, and Harry was heartbroken. _Ron's plan on finding Hermione's perfect better had work, or else there was hell to pay, thought Harry as he turned dejectedly back towards his friends who were waiting for him. __Even Voldemort wouldn't want to be in my way when this is over. Oh no… not at all…_

**-**

Acknowledgements:

**Anonarien**: Aw, thank you! That's so sweet… yeah; I like doing original and weird things…

**Katie Bell**: (If she'll ever read this again) I believe it was celena_albatou who stated it was _FANFICTION_ and one could write whatever they pleased, and that included ships. But thank you for your interesting flame. I shall cherish it forever as one of the silliest I have ever read.

**Wellduh…**: Sequel? Lol, let me get the next few chapters out first! Then we'll talk about that! ^_~

**Medrelina the Weird**: Glad you loved it!

**Emili Potter**: The Louise Rennison books are superb. I can't get enough of them, and I made my best friend read them too – now she's in love with them!

**Celena_albatou**: Thank you for your kind words and for sticking up for me! Hope to hear from you again soon!

**Stoneheart**: How did I know that you'd be reviewing here again? Well, thank you for the very LONG and LOVELY review you gave me. To answer… I changed some things… Cho graduating, not failing… and Ginny will graduate in her own time… and what's this? Plugging your story away in a review meant for me? Shame on you, Stoneheart – you should've made them capitalized! Cheers to you too!

**Clarity**: Is Hermione still a normal teenager and yet her book wormy self as placed in the books? 

**Tempus Vernum**: Glad you liked. And the quote: Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens, if I'm not mistaken. 

**Savi2070**: WOW isn't enough? By George, I'm flattered!

**Sparkle Tangerine**: Ah yes, the joys of passing notes with your best friend in math class while you should be paying attention to the teacher telling you about the COSINE law. Yep, that's my life. Oh, and by the way, Sparkle Tangerine, are you a psychic? How did you know that this story is an all out sex-war? ^_~ Go you!


	3. Thought SPEW was bad? Meet WAM!

Passing Notes

Kneazle

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie _Strike_ and _Bedazzled_. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in (my old) Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas". 

Summary: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just _what_ the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire

**-**

CHAPTER THREE: Thought SPEW was bad? Meet WAM!

            "_GOOOOOD MORNING HOGWARTS!!!" screamed Samantha Marble. She was a new, young chic Ravenclaw fourth year that had taken over Lee Jordan's old job as Quidditch Commenter. And with her… she brought American and Canadianized items.  Now, the Quidditch stands were loitered with big thumb blow-ups and peanuts – and we can't forget flags and banners, too. _

            Hermione sat in the stands of the slightly humid and warm April day, wedged between Lavender and Ginny. Somehow, and for some odd reason that the Gryffindor boys didn't know of, they had been kicked out of the Gryffindor stands while the stands were invaded by girls from the other houses. 

            "Do you think they suspect anything?" asked Parvati from where she sat in the row in front of Hermione, munching pleasantly on some peanuts. 

            "Of course they suspect _something," said Blaise, rubbing her hands together. "But they just don't know __what."_

            "Well said," commented Hannah Abbott, clapping. "Bravo."

            Blaise stood in the stands, turned around and bowed. "Thank you, thank you – I want to thank the Academy, and Hermione, and all the other Brit Witches…"

            "Sit the bloody hell down!" a girl in the back screamed, and with that came a flying piece of peanut. Blaise looked mortally offended, but complied giggling.

            Hermione's eye darted towards the scoreboard, then to Samantha who winked at her, and then to the Professors at the other end of the stands. 

            "Nervous?" asked Ginny, following Hermione's eye circuit. 

            "Slightly," she winced. "I've never done anything remotely close to this."

            "None of us have, Mio. And of course, I'm sure all the guys are sorry"—tried Parvati, jumping in and back to her old "we-shouldn't-do-this" routine. 

            "I doubt it," muttered Hermione. "Guys are all alike."

            Ginny rolled her eyes, and laced her fingers together. "Are you still going to go through all this? Really, Mio, I think it's a bit much. I still can't believe I'm going along… oh shoite… if my mum finds out…"

            Parvati looked horrified. "… I'll get a Howler!" she finished off for the two of them. They two exchanged a horror-struck glance that made the two stand up. 

            "Where are you going?" demanded Blaise, also standing. She glowered down at them, being seated behind Hermione. Hermione watched everything, quiet. 

            "I can't do this," whined Parvati. "My Inner Self has been conflicting this since you brought it up, Hermione."

            "Inner Self?" Hannah raised an eyebrow. "Really, Parvati… how much time _have you spent in Trelawney's tower? I think all those fumes are getting to you."_

            Parvati glowered. "I can't go through it. I can't get the boys back for what they did. It's against everything I was brought up under, and I feel like it's wrong." Her gaze fell on to Hermione. "Mio, forgive me. I can't do this."

            "So I've realized," said Hermione quietly. The girls behind and around them hushed. Standing, she bowed her head, as if thinking something over. Finally, she looked up and began, "If that is how you two feel, then I accept your views and upbringing. However, I will always be in this frame of mind, and I cannot change my views to suit only two people when I have a group of people supporting me. If that be the case, and you can still deny your views further, I must ask you to leave us."

            Someone sucked in her breath. A scream from the other end of the stadium erupted, and with a quick glance to the scoreboard, it now read GRYFFINDOR 20 - HUFFLEPUFF 0. 

            Ginny's eyes filled with tears. "A-Are you s-serious, M-Mio?"

            Hermione's gaze was unwavering. "Yes."

            Blaise stood beside Hermione, placing a hand on her shoulder in support. Parvati turned to her twin and to Lavender. 

            "Are you two going along with this?" she demanded, her voice cracking at the end. Padma lowered her gaze, and then nodded sullenly. Parvati turned to Lavender. "Well? Are _you?"_

            Lavender looked from Hermione to Parvati. Parvati stood with her hands on her hips, her dark cheeks pink with anger and embarrassment. Hermione stood tall and proud, regal and poise, her dark chocolate eyes fixed plainly on Parvati and Ginny. 

            _Will I get Ron's attention this way? Will he notice me? She wondered. Well, of course he would **notice** anyone in the Brit Witches if they went ahead with their plans, but… __Will he see ME?_

            _I think so._

            "I'm staying," whispered Lavender. Parvati let out a tiny screech, stomped her foot once on the wooden stands and turned. 

            "Come on, Ginny," she said, glaring at the remaining Brit Witches, "We've got better things to do."

            Ginny nodded, her face paler than usual, and her freckles standing out twice as much. Her red hair framed her face, shielding it from her best friend's worried look. 

            Padma saw this and said; while they went down the rickety stairs, "Don't worry about them, Hermione. Ginny will do fine without you."

            "That's not what I'm afraid of," she whispered, but no one heard.

**-**

            "And that's Gryffindor with 60 and Hufflepuff with 40," declared Samantha. She glanced down at the scoreboard and sighed. Still another forty points to go and then… the plan will be set. "Oh – wait!" she cried out, "What's this?? There goes Harry Potter, into a dive – no, the Wronski Feint! He pulls out – Hufflepuff Seeker pulls out – all's well… and there goes Alicia Spinnet with the Quaffle – she shoots – and scores! Ten points to Gryffindor – and there goes a Flying V formation _again with Gryffindor – ten more points, making it eighty to forty, and AGAIN! GRYFFINDOR IS ON A ROLL – NINETY TO FORTY, ladies and germs—****__gents!"_

            The crowd cheered and whooped, not catching Samantha's first mistake, and finally, ten minutes later, Gryffindor scored again. Just as Harry was going down into a dive, he heard something that _wasn't cheering… oh, yes it was __CHEERING, but not for him. _

"ARE YOU READY FOR US? ARE YOU READY FOR US? ARE YOU READY FOR US?" a group of girls began to cheer. Harry lost his grip on his broom and slid a few inches forward when he heard Hermione. 

            "ARE YOU READY FOR – WHAT YOU SEE?" she began yelling, clapping her hands and then alternately stomping her feet. "ARE YOU READY FOR US? ARE YOU READY FOR US? 'CAUSE WE CAN'T BE BEAT!"

            Harry turned his head, and saw something that nearly made him drop the seventy feet to the ground. Hermione was bouncing about the Gryffindor stands, a legion of witches after her. All other players in the sky stopped to glance down at them and gap openly. 

            They began to wave their arms about, shouting, "BOW DOWN WHEN YOU SEE US! BOW DOWN WHERE YOU'RE SPELLBOUND! BOW DOWN CAUSE WE AIN'T NO IDIOTS LIKE YOU – BOW DOWN TO A SEX THAT'S SUPERIOR TO YOU!"

            The girls then blew kisses to the crowd and left the stands laughing gaily, "WITCHES AGAINST MALES – WAM!" Harry just sat, levitating on his broom, staring stupidly at the spot where Hermione last stood. 

            He hardly noticed the snitch when it began flying circles around his head. Hardly anyone noticed when he caught it seconds later after the girls left – because Samantha Marble, the commentator, was gone.

**-**

            "Brilliant!" commented Hermione, grinning as she high-five Blaise's hand. The main WAM witches had retired back into their room, laughing and giggling. 

            "Of course, McGonagall is going to blow a gasket – and Dumbledore will probably give us detention for the rest of the school year," began Lavender, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, "But – but it was all worth it. Did you see Malfoy's face?"

            The girls burst out laughing again, and only stopped when an angered voice demanded, "Thought that was funny, did you?"

            They looked up to see Ginny and Parvati standing in the doorway of the room. They had crossed their arms over themselves, and had glares that rivaled Hermione's own. 

            "Yes, yes we did," snapped Blaise, standing. Her old Slytherin persona was shining through. She and Ginny growled at each other, ready to pounce. 

            "Break it up!" shouted Hermione, jumping in-between the two. "We shouldn't fight – remember, we're all witches and we're all in this together."

            "No," snapped Ginny, "_you're doing this because __you want to, Hermione! Have you ever thought that some witches might not want to change the school? How about it if they liked it, hmmm?"_

            Hermione blinked at her old best friend. "Well, if they liked it so much, then why join WAM? To get the attention, no – not all of them do that. Besides, I can't help it if they want a change, a revolution!"

            "Not everyone wants a revolution!" yelled Ginny, stepping into the room with Parvati behind her. "Some people like the way Hogwarts is right now, Hermione! Don't think just because one stupid guy hurt you means that they all will! Don't think that your personal needs and wants are not what is driving this horrid idea of a revolution! Don't drag all the others down for something you should take responsibility of!"

            "I _am taking responsibility of it all!" shouted Hermione, balling her fists. Her eyes narrowed on the younger girl. "And whatever I drive into the WAMs is __my business, Ginny, not yours. As for 'every guy', it's not, and I know that. However, they do __not respect us and I plan to show them just how much respect we deserve! Why do you think I study so hard? It's so no male can say they're smarter than I am, and knock me down – it's so I have a chance in this world!"  
            There was silence. Hermione and Ginny kept their gazes leveled, waiting for the other to move first. When neither did, Ginny sighed and looked away. Hermione tilted her head in triumph. Ginny and Parvati turned, ready to leave the room, when Ginny turned and said simply, "It's not that simple, Hermione." Then, she left. _

**-**

            April melted into May, and neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall had said anything about that Quidditch match. The girls, however, were much more careful about their projects and cheers, and thought it would be best if they could figure out something else to make the students and professors at Hogwarts remember their cause. 

            Hermione, Blaise, Hannah, Lavender, Padma and Cho all sat at one table in the library, in a secluded corner. They had a parchment in front of them, where Hermione's writing clearly stated:

Things WAM can do

(1) Sneak the boxers/briefs from the wizards and string them along a line across the Quidditch pitch

(2) Sing cheers all day

(3) Refuse to play in anymore Quidditch games, or watch

They didn't know what else they could do that wasn't _too mean, so they sat in that corner, thinking up ideas until one literally fell into their laps._

The parchment floated down from something above them, its words written in glittery ink, with confetti sparkling all over the paper. 

Hermione, confused, took the paper and read it aloud to the group. " 'Students – there is to be a ball at Hogwarts in time for spring. Selected students on the Quidditch team from Saint Aristippus Boy's Wizardring School (As there has been numerous anti-male movements lately towards the Hogwart's wizards) will be arriving within days for the ball. This ball shall be held on May 25, and dress robes are NOT required – Muggle clothing ONLY. Thank you, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress'."

"Well!" exclaimed Hannah, "that ought to be interesting."

"Indubitably," nodded Cho, a smile on her lips. "Hmm… do you think any of us could get the _names_ from Professor McGonagall?"

A wicked smile appeared on Hannah's face. "Well, I am known for sucking up to teachers, girls… shall I give it a go?"

A glance was shared between all the girls at the table, and within seconds, the unanimous vote was cast. 

"Go for it!"

**-**

            Harry had spotted Hermione enter the library with her friends, and just a few seconds ago, she had left it alone. After checking to make sure she was still applying her foundation in the middle of the hallway, he turned the corner and closed his eyes, resting against the wall. 

            "C'mon, mate, you can do it," said Ron, reassuring his friend. "You can do this."

            "Righto – we found out she didn't like funny guys like Ron"—

            "Hey!"

            "—But maybe she likes sexy come-to-me types," finished Seamus, winking. Dean clapped Harry on the back. 

            "Go get 'er!" he encouraged. Harry nodded, ran his hand over his John Travolta hair, and stepped out from behind the wall. 

            He walked casually up to Hermione, who had just finished applying her foundation. She turned and gasped a bit when she saw Harry standing there. 

            "Hey," he drawled. Hermione looked at him funnily but replied. 

            "Hi," she said, trying to step around him, at a space between him and the wall. Harry's arm shot out and stopped her from passing him that way. He leaned in a bit and brought his face closer to Hermione's.

            "Harry, _what_ are you doing?" Hermione asked, nearly rolling her eyes. 

            "C'mon, luv – just talk to me for a bit," replied Harry, his eyes half-lidded, with his lips parted slightly. He seemed to be trying to achieve the "sexy" look. 

            "Luv? Uh huh," nodded Hermione, a hand reaching up and resting on his forehead. "Are you sick Harry? Has Voldemort gotten to you in any way lately? Perhaps you should go to the Infirmary." 

            Harry felt his jaw drop slightly, in shock, but he recovered again and said as huskily as he could, "Why don't you come with me? We can play doctor."

            Hermione's jaw dropped, and her eyes went wide. Shaking her head, she stopped herself from socking him in the cheek. "I must get to the Common Room, excuse me." She ducked under his arm, but his hands shot out, grabbed her, and pull her right up against him. 

            "Honey, don't leave me alone," he whispered as gruff as he could muster.  This time, Hermione did not hesitate. 

            _WHAM!_

            "Oww…"

            "That'll teach you to call me 'Honey', Harry Potter!" Hermione then stalked off, her book bag swinging angrily behind her. She passed the corner where Ron, Dean and Seamus were watching, their eyes wincing and feeling their own cheeks in reassurance. 

            Harry walked silently up to them, feeling his swollen cheek. He asked, "Woll? Do 'ou think s'e took ta da atto-tude?"

            Ron shook his head. "Oh, um – yeah, she really did, Harry…" His eyes looked pained as he saw that Harry's cheek was beginning to form its own planet. "Er… maybe we _should_ go to the Infirmary and get that looked at…"

            Harry allowed himself to be dragged along towards the Infirmary, while Dean and Seamus snickered behind him. 

**-**

            Hermione sat on her bed in the dorm room, absently brushing Lavender's hair when an owl came crashing through the open window. A heavy package was wrapped hastily, and a piece of parchment fell at Lavender's feet. 

            Lavender took the package, thanking the owl, and opened the letter first. Hermione listened as she began to take Lavender's hair and make tiny braids. 

            " 'Dear Mio and Lav – guess what? Being a suck-up worked! I got the names of the boys who are coming from St. Aristippus, and _damn_! Some of them are GOOOOORGEY! Anyway, thought you might want to know… a Chad Brussels is from that school. Sounds familiar. Anyhow – I hear voices. Must go! – Hannah'."

            "That's brilliant!" laughed Hermione. "Now… that name, Chad Brussels… he _does_ sound familiar."

            "Well, he should," commented Lavender, folding the letter back up and lighting it on fire. She opened the package and found it to be St. Aristippus's yearbook.

            "Why?"

            "Because his Grandfather is on the committee. He gives money to the school to keep it running," finished Lavender. "I hear Mother and Father always going on about what a charitable man that Anthony Brussels is, etc, etc."

            When Hermione finished with her braid she said, "Find him in the yearbook, okay, Lav?"

            Together, the flipped through the pages and found his picture. Then, they found the Quidditch team picture, and found him listed. 

            He was a tall young wizard, with short brown hair and a lop-sided smile. He was built with Quidditch muscles, and seemed perfect. 

            Hermione stared at the picture some more, a plan forming in her mind. When she shared it with Lavender, Lavender was howling with laughter at the end. 

            "That's like… a double attack… I love it, I absolutely love it," she crowed, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. 

            "Well, then," grinned Hermione, her eyes loosing focus. "He's mine."

**-**

            Harry sighed, back in the boy's dorm room. Colin sat at the foot of his bed, eating popcorn and watching avidly as Dean and Seamus made another "look" for Harry. 

            "Maybe this…" started Dean, then changed his mind and let the hair stay the way it was. Seamus moved around, holding up different pieces of clothing to Harry. 

            "What shall we make Harry be today, Neville?" asked Ron, sitting on his stomach and flipping through pages of a male magazine. "Gay? Emotional? No, no… perhaps preppy?"

            "I think he should go for intellectual smart-ass," replied Neville, who was sitting in a vacant chair, also flipping through a magazine. 

            Seamus gave a shout, slapped his hands together and pointed one at Neville. "He's right!" he shouted. "He can be a male version of Hermione! She'll love it!"

            Dean also gave a shout, and together, for the next hour, they redid Harry's old "sexy" look, and made him intellectual. 

Which was really, _really_ hard. 

After everything was done, Harry stood and looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing black dress slacks, and purple silk dress shirt, with a few buttons open, and his black Hogwarts robes over it. He placed his hands on the collar of his robe, raised one eyebrow and lifted his lips a bit to one side. 

"Do I look intellectual enough?" he asked in a throaty, yet reserved voice.

Ron's jaw hit the floor. "Bloody Hell, Harry… you look… you look…"

"Twenty-one, that's what Ron's trying to say," came Neville's voice. Harry glanced over, but Neville's eyes were still on the magazine with a semi-nude witch on the cover. 

"Do I?" asked Harry, turning back to the mirror. "Do you think Hermione will like this one?"

"She'd must fail all her OWLS to not," replied Seamus; while Dean nodded on Harry's other side. Harry then gave himself one last look, before stepping out of the dorm room and heading down for dinner. 

He grabbed the book that was lying on a table in the common room, and stuck a rose in it. He flipped it open and stuck his nose in it, reading the lines over and over. 

While he walked down the hall, students stopped and stared at him. Giggles and whispers followed him, but not as much as the initial reaction that he was greeted with from the Great Hall. Even the teachers stopped talking to stare. 

At the High Table, McGonagall leaned over and whispered to Dumbledore, "I haven't seen a student try this hard to get some girls' attention since Lily and James."

All Dumbledore could do out of shock was nod. 

Spotting an empty seat next to Hermione, Harry slipped in. Hermione was openly gawking at him, wondering what he was on. He glanced up at her, and raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes, Hermione?" he began. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-no, er, y-yes… wait, n-no," she stuttered, looking him from hair to toes. Finally, she shook her head and exclaimed, "What _happen?_"

Harry glanced at her with his glasses perched at the end of his nose. "Why, nothing."

"Bullshit." Someone coughed. 

Harry glanced around, calmly and slowly put his book down and began, while lacing his fingers together and crossing one leg over the other, "I believe the more correct term would be one of disbelief. Not of something that vulgar and disgusting to express one's emotions. Perhaps 'Surely not', or even 'Not likely!'"

Hermione's jaw dropped. Lavender blinked a few times at him, silent. Ginny and Parvati who were off to the side, stared in amazement. Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Colin had finally come down from the dorm to witness Harry's grand entrance, and were doing the best they could not to crack up again.

Hermione glanced at them and narrowing her eyes she asked, "this isn't another ghastly prank, is it? Because if it is, don't open your gob and say anything; I've had enough lies from you lately to last a lifetime."

"Darling, that is not what I intent," said Harry, his eyes somber as he placed his hands over Hermione's, and uncrossing his legs. Hermione glanced down at them, and back at Harry's face. 

Instead, Harry reached out and tucked a stray strand of Hermione's wavy hair behind her ear. There was an intake in breath, but as Harry's hand moved away from her face, a single, dewy red rose appeared in his hands. 

"Harry…" breathed Hermione, taking the rose gingerly in her hands. 

"Finally," another person breathed. 

Harry smiled softly at Hermione and said, "The beauty of the rose is nothing compared to yours. The perfection of the rose makes the perfection of your own self look far superior than it."

"Thank you," smiled Hermione, looking at Harry, with the kindest smile she had for the past couple weeks. 

_SCORE!!_ Rang a voice in Harry's head. Hermione breathed in the rose's aroma before asking him in a sultry voice, "by the way, why did you nearly kiss me that day?"

Harry, now sure that he had won Hermione over, leaned backwards, losing his 'intellectual' look. Far from him, on the other end of the table, Ron and the others were hissing, "NO, NO!! DON'T LOSE THE LOOK!"

"I don't know," he replied in is usual voice. "It was before class, you looked hot, and I thought it was a good idea at the time."

Hermione got a disgusted look on her face, before she forced out an angry, "Ooo." She got up from the table, and slammed the book that Harry was resting his hand in shut, making him yelp. She then turned and stalked away from the table, with Lavender following her. 

Harry turned his body to face Ron, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Colin who were all shaking their heads and hiding behind their hands. 

"What? What did I say?" he asked in a confused voice. 

While they were passing the High Table again, Dumbledore finally commented, "Well, at least he's not a dense as James was."

**-**

            Soon, it was time for the ball, which would happen later that night. Hermione had asked Lavender what she thought of Harry's odd behavior; good-looking famous boys just don't go changing their images for anything.

            Lavender shrugged. "Maybe he thought that you didn't like the real him."

            "That's preposterous! Where would he ever get an idea like that?" asked Hermione, her mouth open and eyes wide. Lavender rolled her eyes, before turning to face Hermione. 

            "Gee, Mio, I don't really know," she replied sarcastically. Hermione made a face and scooped something up in her arms. 

            "Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. Call me before it hits four thirty, okay?" Hermione asked, turning and walking into the bathroom. 

            Lavender called after her, "WHY DON'T YOU PUT ON THE BLOODY TIMER?? THAT'S WHAT IT'S IN THERE FOR, YOU CRAZY SWOT!"

            The bathroom door slammed shut, but not before Lavender jumped up, scribbled a quick note to Ginny and Parvati (Taking a shower, be right out, love Lav), and running in to the bathroom squealing, "You use up all the hot water!!"

            Within minutes, all the girls who had had a hot and disgusting May day, were all in the shower primping and getting ready for the ball. 

**-**

            MEANWHILE, Harry sat on his bed, his head in his hands and moaning. "What did I do wrong this time, Ron?"

            "You lost your image, you idiot!" snapped Ron, at the end of his patience. "Look, we've done everything we could to get you and Hermione together. For Merlin's Sake, we've done _everything_ for you, you tosser!"

            Harry moaned, "I'm sorry Ron, really… I wasn't thinking…"

            "Damn straight you weren't!"

            "… And I'm really sorry again, and again. How many times do I have to say it? All I want is for Hermione to like me again, and I don't want to burden any of you anymore with my problems."

            "That's fine, but you should be apologizing also to Hermione. You've really screwed up around her, Harry," said Dean, smiling sympathetically at his friend. "It's been weird seeing the two of you arguing all the time, even when you're in your split personalities."

            "I know," sighed Harry, running his hands through his hair now. "But how shall I do it with her hating me? Oh, no – don't answer that. I shouldn't say anything or ask anything of you guys."

            Seamus looked at Harry with pity. "Harry, we're your friends. We'll help you even if you don't want us to."

            "Thanks," at this, Harry looked up slightly and offered a wobbly smile. "Well, the only thing about Hermione not talking to me is that Cho Chang seemed really interested in me lately and had been around me."

            "She's a whore," spoke up Neville. Harry glanced at him. 

            "Okay, sure," he said finally, "But she's also nice."

            "Because she wants to give you head." Joked Dean, before Harry shot him a death glare. "No, really –" Dean coughed, "—what are we going to do about Harry and Hermione?"

            Finding it again a safe topic, Ron sighed, sat next to Harry on the bed and offered weakly, "Send her another rose. She really liked the other one, but maybe charm it to be in her favorite colour, okay? And… maybe a mushy poem, but _you_ write it by _yourself_. Then set up a romantic dinner, or offer just to be friends again for a while, but minus the 'for awhile' part."

            Harry nodded and said, "Thanks for the ideas."

There was silence, and finally, Colin spoke up, "Hey, Ron – aren't we suppose to be spying on the girls and trying to find out what they are writing to each other?"

Ron frowned, trying to place that phrase to the past, before exclaiming, "oh _yeah_!" He turned to the others in the room and grinned wickedly. "Not only can we go over to the girls' dorms to snoop, we can help get Hermione and Harry together there."

"Yeah!" chorused            the boys, who pumped their fists encouragingly into the air. Harry shook his head.

"Bloody forget it! I'm not ruining my friendship with Hermione anymore!"

"Don't you want to see her? Talk to her?" asked Seamus, a slow smirk appearing on his face. He looked over at Harry, who seemed to be struggling internally with himself. 

"ARGH!" he let out, "FINE! LET'S GO!"

The boys shared a smirk behind Harry's back as he bounced off the bed and stalked towards the door. They followed in single-file, walking down the boy's stairs towards the common room and through it towards the girls' dorms. 

"You can't go in there!" a voice faltered after the determined boys as they began up the stairs towards the dorm. 

"Watch me," muttered Ron, earning a reproving look from Harry. 

They stopped in front of the girls' door, and banged on it loudly. When there was no answer after a few minutes, Harry tried again. Yet again, there was no answer. Trying the knob and finding it unlocked, Harry glanced back before beginning, "I don't think we should…"

"Shaddup Harry," said Ron, stepping past him. Harry stood back, his hands up as he looked at the floor. The other boys walked past him, and while Harry tried to sneak away, Colin reached out and yanked him in the room. The door slammed shut behind Harry, who jumped. 

"Now, if I were a girl, where would I put my secret notes?" mused aloud Ron, tapping his forefinger against his lips. He stood in the middle of the dorm, turning in circles. 

"If you were a girl, you'd look like Ginny, 'cept taller and uglier," laughed Dean. Ron flipped him the finger before beginning to rummage through Lavender's desk. Harry stood where he was, against the door, looking around the room. 

While Dean, Seamus, Colin and Neville began looking around the room, under pillows and mattresses, and in drawers, Harry stood motionless… until…

"What's that?" he asked suddenly, tilting his head. 

"What's what?" replied Neville, stopping. 

"That," said Harry, as the room grew silent. That's when they heard it: rushing water. The teenage boys shared a look before turning slightly red. 

"Do you think… that they're… all…?" Dean let the question hang, waving his hand lazily through the air as he glanced at the bathroom door, which was slightly ajar. 

"Probably," squeaked Ron. This earned him a disbelieving glance, but he masked his embarrassment well and continued in his normal voice, "Well, who is going to check if they're in there or not?"

"Not me!", "Are you bloody crazy??", "What are you _ON_, Ron??" all came back at him. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at the other Gryffindor boys.

"I got us in here, and someone should go look!" he reasoned. The others looked at him as if he had another head growing out of his shoulders. "Well, I can't go in there – my sister might be there! That's just **wrong**."

Immediately, Neville began stuttering about allergies to water, and Colin said something about being afraid of drains. Seamus and Dean shared a look with Harry, before the three of them pointed at one of the other boys. Harry was pointing at Seamus, who was pointing at Dean, who was pointing at Harry. 

Ron sighed. "I suppose we'll just have to do a random spin."

"A what?" Harry asked, completely clueless. 

"A random wand spin, Harry – it's where you place the wand flat on the hand…" Ron began to demonstrate, "and then you say the spell – 'randomus pickutus' – and wherever it stops randomly at, is the one who has to check."

Seamus, Dean and Harry gulped and watched in a tense silence as the wand spun so fast that all it was, was a brown blur. 

It kept spinning, going and going… spinning and spinning. 

And spinning some more…

And more…

And some more…

Before it slowly began to slow down…

And rest before…

Harry Potter. 

Moaning, Harry began to shoot daggers at Ron, all the while walking towards the door. He glanced back once, before bending slightly over and peeking in. Through the crack, he could make out the mist from the five stalls where the showers were located, and saw that all the mirrors were steamed. He was about to turn and hiss that no one was there, when someone stepped out of a stall. 

Harry's breath caught in his throat as Lavender stepped out of the stall, clad only in a skimpy pale rose towel that she tucked in to keep it up. Soon thereafter, Hermione, Ginny and Parvati all stepped out in the same towels. 

Harry's voice box couldn't form the words correctly, but he was about to turn and back away when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. 

He let out a yell, which made Hermione, who was the closest to the door, jump and reach forward to grasp the handle. 

When she saw Harry there, she stared at him before screaming. The other girls turned and screamed, and within seconds, the door was slammed shut in his face. 

Harry gulped, and turned to see McGonagall's face, splotchy and red, glaring down at him. Her lips were thin and white, and with heaving breaths she said, "Come… with… me, Potter… and you… Weasley… Longbottom, Creevey… Finnigan and Thomas… you are… **_ALL_**… in **big**… trouble!"

With that, she cuffed Harry by the back of his neck and hurled him away from the door. As they were exciting the room, Hermione called out from a crack, "Professor, what were they doing in our room?"

"I'll find that out, Ms. Granger and tell you as soon as I know," the teacher huffed, "but know this – they will serve an extensive detention, and if I can get it passed, a _SUSPENSION!_"

Hermione nodded before shutting the door again, but quietly this time. All that was running through Harry's head was: _Oh, shit, oh, shit… oh, shit, oh shit… oh, shit, oh shit… oh, shit, oh shit… oh, shit, oh shit… oh, shit, oh shit… oh, shit, oh shit…_

**-**

            The office was quiet. Very quiet. Harry sat in the middle of the group, between Ron and Seamus, while the other boys were scattered in a line beside them.

            They had been in Dumbledore's office, their heads bowed and gazed downcast as they listened and winced when McGonagall yelled out how she found them, _claiming them as Peeping Toms, which they were, but that was beside the point…_

            Dumbledore sat quietly throughout it all, glanced occasionally at the teens, but nodding all the while to McGonagall's story. When she finished, her chest rising heavily in anger, he said, "That will be all, Minerva… thank you very much… but I shall deal with them now."

            McGonagall opened her mouth, making small squeaking sounds, but when Dumbledore held up his hand, she closed it with a snap and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 

            Finally, after what seemed like forever, Harry lifted his eyes from the floor, and saw Dumbledore looking right at him, the twinkle in his eyes gone. 

            Dumbledore glanced away and began in a soft, thwarted voice, "I am very disappointed. Very. I would've thought that Gryffindors would've had more common sense and brainpower to not doing anything as stupid as that. Now, I have only heard Professor McGonagall's side of the story, so I wish to hear all of yours. Once you are done, I shall pass the correct judgment."

            He waited, and listened patiently, asking questions about something as each teenager told his story. Harry decided to tell his from when he first starting fancying Hermione, and what he was doing. At the end of the interview, Dumbledore sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

            "I see," he rasped. "Well, then… It is time I give you your punishment." He looked at each boy in the eyes before saying; "you are all to serve detention for the next month with Professor Snape on different days of the week until curfew, right after dinner." There were groans.

            "Next"—

            "_Next_, Professor!" exclaimed Ron, his mouth open, "Isn't helping Snape, Professor Snape, sorry, for the next month _enough_??"

            Dumbledore chuckled. "No, Mr. Weasley. You have all committed a serious offense, and I should by all means have you all suspended from the school for two weeks, or even expelled, but I will not. You are all intelligent students with much promise to this school. 

            "Next – before I am interrupted again – you will all miss the ball tonight, and spend it in the library, with an in-school suspension which shall go on your records and last until the end of the year."

            At this, Ron, Dean and Seamus moaned in agony and lowered their heads. Confined to the library, what HORROR!! Harry gulped, knowing that Dumbledore would say something more horrific. 

            "You are all very lucky," he said, instead.

            "What?" deadpanned Colin. 

            "You see, if it were any other teacher but McGonagall, you would all be suspended from Hogwarts and kicked off the Quidditch team." Dumbledore concluded. Harry's shocked gaze was enough for him; he had meant to scare these teenagers back into the correct frame of mind, and hoped that they wouldn't pull another stunt like that again. 

            "Now, if you excuse me, I shall go collect Mr. Filch and Madam Price, who will be over seeing your in-school suspension."

            Dumbledore left the room, and when he did, the boys sulked in their seats. Ron slammed his fist down on the leather seat, and exclaimed, "Can you believe this?? We miss the ball! The only one of this year!"

            "It could be worse," whispered Neville, who was ashen. "He'll probably send letters home and I'll get a Howler."

            "So will I," mock-sobbed Seamus. "Cheer up Neville, you can blast the card away now with a blasting charm we learnt last week." Neville brightened at that fact, but was still upset when Dumbledore came back in the office with Mr. Filch towing behind him.

            And in front of them was doom.

**-**

            As eight o'clock drew near, and McGonagall hadn't come back with the Gryffindor sixth years' verdict, Hermione went out looking for them. She told Lavender that she would be back on time for the roll call, where she would be paired up with one of the St. Aristippus boys.

            Dressed in her ball gown, Hermione wandered the halls, wondering where they would be for such a serious offense. Finally, it dawned on her that if they weren't suspended, they would be in the library. 

            Hermione picked up the folds of her dress and took off in a jog towards the library, where she peaked in and spotted Harry staring dully at a quill he was playing with. 

            Hermione whipped out her compact mirror and examined herself quickly. Her hair was done nicely in curly ringlets (making her wavy hair crazy) and in it was tiny flowers. Her dress was made of silk and velvet, the colour a royal blue that clung to all the curves that she had. Hermione nodded, smacked her red lips together and snapped the mirror away. She then walked into the library quietly towards Harry. 

            When she finally stood beside him, he glanced up slightly. He then did a double take. "H-Hermione…" he stuttered, offering a quick smile, "You look great."

            Hermione smiled. "Thanks. Anyway, I just wanted to find out what happened to all of you. The girls were getting worried, especially Ginny," lied Hermione. 

            "Oh," the smile disappeared, "well, we have detention with Snape for the rest of the month, and an in-school suspension. That's all though."

            "So nothing _too_ bad," said Hermione. Harry shook his head, looking her up and down. He smiled at her again and spoke. 

            "You look very pretty. Who are you going to be partnered up with?" 

            "Oh, the captain of St. Aristippus's Quidditch team – Chad Brussels," answered Hermione off-handedly. Harry's eyes widened. 

            "Oh, him," he said, forcing the words out. "Well, I hope you have a good time."

            Hermione smiled. "Thanks Harry. I hope you don't have too much of a bad time here. A library can be a friendly place, you know." With that said, she started to walk away, but turned around. Harry looked up again, wondering what she wanted to say now. 

            Hermione bent on her knees to be at Harry's eyelevel, and whispered, "let's put everything that happened aside for tonight. I know that I probably won't see you until we go back to our dorm room, but… I want to forget everything that happened with WAM, until tomorrow morning when…" Hermione glanced away, hiding something. "Anyway…" She stooped and kissed Harry lightly on the cheek. 

            She then turned and left the library, never glancing back. If she had, she would've seen Harry raise his hand in a daze to his cheek, which was turning bright red.

**-**

Kneazle: Oooh, and the tension grows!! I can't wait to post what happens next, can you?? Hee, hee, this is going perfectly according to **my** plan, but what about Hermione's?? What's **_SHE_** up to? Find out in "Chapter Four", hahaha!!

**Stoneheart**: Of course they'll get _some_ sense knocked into them. They just don't know by what form… and wow… a lot happens in this chapter, huh??

**Sparkle Tangerine**: Lol, you are such a feminist! I love that whole "shouting" thing you had going on, hahaha…

**aaliyah-potter**: I don't think all guys are jerks. Actually, none of the guys I talk to at school are jerks. I just wanted to write something funny and a bit on the whole "equality of men versus women" situation. I think I came up with this in an English class when we were debating the differences between if a man did this, what would women think, and vice versa. It was really interesting.

**Loz/Lauren**: LOL! The sausages were a random thing I felt like putting in… or was it because Andrew kept staring at me while I whispered out of the corner of my mouth at lunch, "EAT ME, EAT ME!!" at his French fries? I wonder… ^_^ The Louise Rennison books are titled differently depending on where you are from. I live in Canada, so the titles are: "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging", "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas". Don't worry; you haven't missed anything.

**Alanna Roseguard**: Try your local bookstore, or Barnes and Nobel online, or Chapters/Indigo online. You can order it if you cannot find it at your bookstore.

**Golito14**: No problemo. Your English was fine! How's my Spanish?? Hola! Caul es la fecha de hoy? Caundo dolares es la mochilla? De Donde eres? Not bad for a first-year student, huh? ^_~ **Laughs very weakly**

**HoT*lIkE*fIrE**: Such enthusiasm! Yes, it was a cheap trick, but it was the only one I could think of…

**Lis_:_** Liked your stylish review!

**Fae Princess**: BEAVER!! How are you, Beaver #2??? LOL, don't you just love this story? Shame you can't do this in University… rats! **Mock-snaps her fingers** There goes that idea… hee, hee, glad you laughed something off – good for getting in shape the story is, **_Eh_**??

**sailor-bcup**: I'm honored! 

**To EVERYONE ELSE**: Thank you, thank you!! I would individually reply to your review, but I can't do everyone's, sorry!


	4. Miltowns and Coke

Passing Notes

Kneazle

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie _Strike _(now released as _All I Wanna Do_) and _Bedazzled_. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in (my old) Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas". 

Summary: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just _what_ the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire

**-**

CHAPTER FOUR: Miltowns and Coke

            By the time Hermione had made it out of the library and towards the Entrance Hall where she and twelve other very exceptional, bright, intelligent, beautiful, honest – you can tell me to stop anytime now… – girls would be, it was nearly eight now. Hermione looked around, feeling a prickly sensation at the back of her neck. From the shadows emerged Cho Chang. 

            Hermione forced her lips into a tight fold, and nodded curtly. She had never really liked Cho, ever since she had begun to think she had a chance with Harry when Hermione liked him… I mean, likes him. 

            "Hello Hermione," she purred out, looking horrible in her very slinky dress. 

            "Em, yes, hello Cho," replied Hermione, continuing her brisk pace. "If you'll excuse me… we must meet in the Entrance Hall now."

            Cho smiled, her ruby red lips pulling into a smirk. "Allow me to come with you." Hermione inwardly groaned, but nodded. The two socialites walked briskly together towards the Entrance Hall, where Professor Maybell Sinistra was waiting. She had lined up the selected female students to escort the St. Aristippus students around. 

            "Miss Granger, and Miss Chang! There the two of you are – now; get in line will you… the Headmaster from St. Aristippus will here any minute." She said in her fluttery voice.

            "How will they arrive here, Professor Sinistra?" asked Ginny, a questioning look on her face.

            "By broomstick, Ms. Weasley."

            Ginny blushed under Professor Sinistra's cool no-nonsense tone, but stood her ground and began searching the sky for the broomsticks. 

            Hermione took her place between Ginny and Lavender, and took her time looking around the fifthteen girls who would be escorting the St. Aristippus boys. 

            There was Parvati Patil all the way on the far right, with her twin Padma beside her; following her was Ginny, then Hermione. She turned her head and looked in the opposite direction. Lavender Brown, Blaise Zabini, Lisa Turpin, and lastly Hannah Abbott. Below them, on the next steps, were Cho Chang, Sally-Ann Perks, and Pansy Parkinson, who was by Hermione, despite her disgust; following her was Susan Bones, Mandy Brocklehurst, Millicent Bulstrode, and finally, the new Quidditch commenter, Samantha Marble.

            All witches were dressed up nicely and were silent, waiting for the St. Aristippus School. Hermione noted, though, that Cho was the oldest girl in the group, and Samantha and Ginny were the youngest, though Samantha by a year more than Ginny, being a fourth year. 

            Soon, Lavender looked up, poked Hermione in the ribs and pointed, "Look! There they are!"

            Sure enough, in the distance was a beam of light. Following that beam was a long line of sticks, which upon closer inspection were actually a group of groups, in single file. 

            "Where is he?" Hermione muttered, leaning a bit towards Lavender. Professor Sinistra turned and shot her a warning look. Hermione smiled nicely in return. 

            "Second one from the front," replied Lavender, speaking through her teeth in her smile. Hermione nodded and looked at the wizard on that broom. 

            He looked exactly like his yearbook picture, and Hermione found a devious smile gracing her lips. That was Chad Brussels, all right – and like she told Lavender earlier, he was going to be hers.

            "I hope you know what you're doing," muttered Lavender. Hermione glanced at her curiously. 

            "Of course I do. Don't be such a wanker," replied Hermione, a look of surprise in her eyes. "Ron'll notice you, Harry'll stop being such a prat and our plan will work out just nicely."

            "I hope so," finished off Lavender, straightening up and smiling. Hermione copied her, her eyes trained on Chad Brussels. It was unfortunate that Harry wasn't going to the dance. He'd enjoy what Hermione was planning to pull off – actually, anyone being a fan of the Marauder's would. 

            Professor Sinistra stood up straight as the Quidditch Coach from St. Aristippus stepped forward. He had a nasally voice, and Hermione disliked his cool attitude right away. 

            "Professor McFarely, I believe?" asked Professor Sinistra, holding out a hand for the man to shake.

            McFarely glanced down at Sinistra's hand and sneered lightly as he shook it quickly. "That's right. Shall we get this over with, Professor?"

            Professor Sinistra frowned but nodded. She turned to the Hogwarts witches and said, "When I call your name, your partner will be presented to you."

            "Likewise," sniffed McFarely. 

            Hermione leaned towards Lavender. "Change of plans. I've got a new idea. You keep up with the… er, potion, but I'll improvise. I don't feel like getting suspended, but this ought to be a laugh…"

            Lavender nodded uncertainly. "Okay…"

            "Adams, Nick," called McFarely. 

            "Abbott, Hannah," called Sinistra. The two stepped forward, with Hannah giggling lightly as she began talking to Nick Adams, a very cute Matt Damon look-alike. She pulled tightly on her pigtail, signaling she had everything under control. She didn't see Nick's own hand give a thumbs-up to his comrades.

            "Clark, Jonathan," was paired up with Susan Bones. She frowned slightly at the jock, bulging with muscles, but engaged him in a conversation as Susan winked at Hermione. Jonathan turned to his friends and made a thumbs-down. There was some laughing. 

            "Deeds, Mick" was paired with an angry-looking Mandy Brocklehurst, which made the slightly skinny boy cower in fear, offering his arm hesitantly. Lavender and Hermione giggled over this, with Blaise grinning behind her hand. 

            "Dower, Josh," was with Lavender. She sighed as she stepped forward, almost heavenly as Josh had just as many freckles as Ron and has a head of shocking red hair (that was, unfortunately for Ron, spiked – making him look much more handsome that the Weasley). Hermione winked at her friend, and noticed finally Josh's thumbs-up. She frowned, wondering what they were up to. 

            Millicent Bulstrode was paired with an "Eisenburg, Donald". He was tall and presented her with a flower, which the witch took gingerly, smiling shyly up at him through her heavy fringe. He glanced down before giving a thumbs-up. 

            Hermione's frown deepened, and she leaned towards Blaise, "What's with the thumbs-up and down?"

            "Don't know, but they're all looking at the girls' um… 'Nunga nunga's'." Blaise finished uncertainly. 

            Hermione turned fully to her friend. "The hell is nunga nunga's?"

            Blaise blushed slightly. "Well, my older brother is at the wizard college… it's what he and his friends call a woman's… breasts… in code."

            Hermione rolled her eyes. "Tell your brother to grow a brain!" 

            "Will do!" Blaise saluted. 

            "If you two are most certainly done," came Professor Sinistra's voice. Hermione and Blaise flashed innocent grins. 

            "Yes, Professor," they chorused. 

            Professor Sinistra then cleared her throat. "Cho Chang."

            McFarely glanced down at his list and said in his disgustingly nasally voice, "Chad Brussels."

            Cho stepped forward, in her slinky and sluttish red dress, while the handsome Henry Cavill look-alike stepped forward uncertainly to greet his date.

            "Cho!" stepped forward Hermione, waving an accusing finger at the girl. "You switched the list! I signed up to be with Chad!"

            Cho glanced over her shoulder at Hermione, winked, and gave her a smug smile. 

            "Hermione," began Sinistra, in a kind voice. "You're too tall for Mr. Brussels. You were all signed up by height. Your partner is…" she glanced at McFarely's list, which the man didn't like. "Darrel Cockner."

             A short teen stepped forward. He was nervous and his voice wobbled as he spoke. "Hermione," he said, "that's Gaelic, right? But then, it would be _Air-Mione_." He said, pronouncing the difference. 

            "What's your name again?" asked Hermione, distractedly as she stared at Cho's retreating back. 

            "Darrel, but everyone calls me Cockner. You can call me Darrel, or Cockner, or Cocky, that's what my Grandma says"—

            Groaning, Hermione grabbed his arm without looking and said, "Let's go Cock-swipe."

**-**

            As Hermione led Darrel Cockner around the school, she couldn't help but think of some plan to get Cho Chang back. First she goes and tries to get Harry right under Hermione's nose, and now her totally fabby plan that involved Chad Brussels! Argh – it was more than one girl could stand, but Hermione kept her cool and said nothing between the grating of her teeth. 

            As they walked through Hogwart's gardens, Hermione spotted Cho just ahead of her, clinging to Chad's arm and giggling. A lightbulb went off in Hermione's head as she began moving towards the two without a second glance back. 

            "Excuse me," she muttered darkly at a confused Darrel. 

            Walking up behind Cho, Hermione grinned wickedly before knocked her knees into the other girls'. Cho went down on the ground, her stockings ripped and smeared with grass stains. 

            "Oops, silly me," smiled Hermione, helping Cho up. Her hair was a mess and her eyes went dark as she pointed a finger at Hermione. 

            "Don't you _dare_ lay a finger on my date!" she said vehemently. She then turned with her nose in the air towards the dorms. At this, Hermione smiled, and looped her arm with Chad Brussel's. 

            "So… have you seen the new Quidditch pitch?" she cooed, while Chad shook his head. "Then let's go." Her old date, Darrel, looked on forlorn as Hermione walked away. He remained unaware of what he should do, watching the two saunter off. 

**-**

            Harry sighed, twirling his quill around in his fingers. Seamus glanced up at a clock above the library's doors, and then turned back to his parchment. He began to scribble something, and when Madam Pince wasn't looking and shot it at Harry. Harry caught the snitch-like parchment and unraveled it, before frowning as he read the contents. 

            _Harry __–__ we must bust out of this place! Something doesn__'__t feel right, just like before You-Know-Who would attack__… __get any ideas that would get us out of this shitty place? __–__ Seamus_

            Harry frowned. He wasn't sure what he could cook up, but he did have some ideas, like a hologram charm that Hermione had been teaching him before he tried to grab her attention by being some other bloke that was vying for her attention. He looked around to make sure he was okay, before he scribbled the spell down and what to do. 

            Hey everyone – okay, here's the deal. We can bust out if we use the hologram charm that Hermione was teaching me… before everything. The spell we'd use would be: Hologramious (your name)-ious. I would say "Hologramious Harry Potterious", and there should be a hologram of myself when I move in the last position I was in. So try to look bored. Oh, and Ron? The stresses you seem to always have trouble with – remember, its "Lev-I-osa, not Levi-o-SA"!! ] – Harry

            After rereading it and making sure it would work, Harry crumpled it up into a ball again, pulling out his wand stealthily as Madam Pince turned away and began to walk to the end of the library, collecting books to pile on to a book cart. 

            Harry tossed it to Seamus, who read it and tossed it to Dean, nodding and passed it to Ron who growled slightly at the 'Wingardium Leviosa' memory.  After though, all young wizards pulled their wands out and nodded at the same time. There was a hushed whisper of merging voices, but when Madam Pince looked up at the sound, she saw all the boys where they were, silent and brooding. 

            She didn't notice that the library door had swung shut quietly. 

**-**

            Hermione, with Chad Brussels's hand in hers, led him towards the Gryffindor Quidditch Stand. He looked up in awe at the giant nets and tall stands, turning around to get the whole experience. 

            "What? Isn't yours the same size back at um… whatever it's called?" asked Hermione, still slightly ticked from Cho. 

            "No, yeah – um, I dunno. It's hard to tell from the ground y'know. From the sky it's a completely different story." Chad sighed. "I love flying. It comes so naturally that I sometimes take it for granted."

            Hermione laughed. "You sound just like Harry."

            "Who is Harry?" asked Chad, letting her tug him up the stairs. Hermione paused slightly before glancing over her shoulder at him. 

            "Harry Potter. One of my best friends," she finally divulged. Chad's eyes widened. 

            "_The_ Harry Potter is one of your best friends?" he gapped out. "Wow! Is he really? Is he going to the dance tonight? Are you his date? Are you supposed to make the two of us meet so we can talk Quidditch?"

            Hermione inwardly groaned. _God, what is it with guys and Quidditch???_ She wondered, before turning and bracing both hands on opposite beams, barring Chad from going any further. 

            "Yes, Harry is one of my best friends. No, he's not going to the dance tonight. No, I'm not his date, though I really, _really_ wish I were. No, you two are not going to meet, especially if Cho has her ways." She finally finished, closing her eyes briefly before turning and taking the last few steps up to the top of the rickety wooden stands. 

            Chad followed her silently, before standing next to her. Leaning forward, he ran his hands through his short brown hair and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be that nosy. It's just… I really admire that guy, y'know? Youngest person to play Quidditch in a century, defeated You-Know-Who how many times, all-around good guy… I'd like to meet him and tell him that I admire what he does, even when he doesn't ask for it."

            "He never has," agreed Hermione, nodding slightly. Then, she turned to Chad. "Wanna get high? I've got some Advil in my pocket."

            "What? You can get high off of liquid and Advil?" asked Chad, appalled. 

            "Sure," shrugged Hermione, waving her wand. Two Cokes appeared. Chad shrugged and took one that she offered in her outstretched hand. 

            Swallowing, he took a swing of his Coke and frowned slightly. "Are you sure that was an Advil? It looked more like a Miltown…" There was a brief moment of silence before Hermione opened her mouth, but Chad continued. "I mean, my mum _inhales_ those whenever she gets cramps, y'know? She eats them like chips and doesn't listen much to what the mediwizard says."

            "Same, so does my mum," laughed Hermione, dropping her guard. "Where do you think I got them from?"

            "So these **are** Miltown's!" blurted Chad, looking down at Hermione, aghast. Hermione backed up a step, her mouth making an "o". 

            "NO!! No, not at all!" she gasped out. 

            Chad nodded, convinced. "Oh, okay then…" He was silent a bit, letting the drug work its magic. "Hey? Earlier, remember when I asked if Harry was your date an' you said no, but you really wished he was? Does that mean… that… that you fancy him?"

            Hermione winced. Apparently, the drug wasn't working fast enough for her. "Yeah. I've fancied him since school started again this year, and I thought he might've fancied me too, for an ephemeral moment. Alas, I was wrong." Hermione frowned. "And now he has an in-school suspension."

            "D'you want to go with him to the dance and not… Cockner?" asked Chad, starting to sway slightly. Hermione nodded. Chad turned, grabbing onto Hermione for two reasons; one, he needed support to stand up, and two; because he wanted to help her if she helped him.

            "Great! Let's make a deal!" 

            "Oh gee," Hermione began warily, placing an arm around his waist to help him down the stairs, "I dread those four little words." Then, after taking a few steps she asked feebly, "What is it?"

            "I guess you know that make Grandfather is on the Board, right?"

            "Yeah?" _Where is he going with this?_

            "Well, I've been trying to get kicked outta school for a while now, because I don't feel… right there, y'know? Like, they're all soldiers marching off the same cliff… the 2.5 kids, 4.0 GPA, colonial house, perfect wife, perfect job…" Chad took a breath, before turning to Hermione. "You set a situation up where I can get suspended or expelled, and I'll help get you an' Harry tog'ther."

            Hermione scrunched her nose up to one side, thinking it over. The offer did deem reasonable – nothing too big for her to handle by herself. And she was getting a bit tired of her silly "Boy **OVER** Girl" thing… so…

            "Sure. And I've got the perfect idea." Grinning wickedly, she realized that she could just knock two birds with one stone, and get away clean. "BUT!" she said, poking Chad in the chest, "No mention of my name, Hun – or the deal is off."

            Chad nodded. "Great. Which was to Potter?"

            Hermione bit her lip. "Um… good question."

            As they began walking across the Quidditch Pitch, Hermione saw two figures in the distance rapidly closing in on them. 

            "Uh oh," they said in unison. 

            As the figures became clearer and closer, Hermione realized it was Darrel Cockner and one of Cho's loyal friends, Emily Beatrice. 

            "Hermione!" Emily called in a sharp voice. "You cannot abandon your date and take off with another!" She leaned forward and grabbed Chad's robes. "_I_ shall accompany Mr. Brussels to his _true_ date, while you and your date can stick together. The dance starts in twenty minutes!"

            With that, Emily began to walk away, but not before Hermione heard Chad exclaim, "This is great! I get a new date every ten minutes!"

            "So… Hermione," butted in Darrel, "What are we going to do now?"

            "Excuse me, I have to set up the refreshments," all but snarled Hermione, crossing her arms protectively across his chest before stomping (or as stomping as heels can) away from Cock-swipe. 

**-**

            Ginny sighed, looking up at her date, Charles B. Madison. He was a cute, with shaggy blond beach-surfer hair and beautiful blue eye that shamed hers. He also was extremely polite and kind. He had showed her nothing but kindness and Ginny was sure this was the kind of guy her mum would want her to take home and introduce to the rest of the Weasleys. Er… minus Ron, who'd fly off his broomstick. 

            "You know," said Charles in a husky deep voice that sent shivers down Ginny's spine, "You can tell a lot of a person by the texture on the back of their hand."

            "Really?" asked Ginny, awestruck and filled to the brim with naïveté. 

            "Yeah," breathed Charles, holding Ginny's hand as they walked into the Great Hall, which was serving as the dance room. Balloons floated and hovered just out of the reach of students, and refreshments that Blaise and Hermione were managing were plentiful. Streamers blew back in worth in a non-existent wind.

            Charles looked at Ginny's pale freckled hand and whispered, "Just what I thought… soft and smooth, just like you."

            Ginny grinned at him before feeling the back of his hand, then dropping it in surprise. "Ewww! Rough and callus!"

            Charles shrugged. "What can I say? I'm not exactly a good guy."

            Ginny laughed, enjoying the feel of a guy in her arms. She would never have gotten away with this, since Ron is the over-protective type of brother. Though, ever since they had entered, coming in a bit later than the rest of the school, Ginny knew that there were a few eyes on her that weren't solely her date's. 

            For instance, Hermione and Blaise were speaking to each other, and glancing ever few minutes at her and Charles. Also, in the far, dark Slytherin corner, Ginny was sure that Draco Malfoy had glanced over at her. 

            Snorting softly, Ginny shook her head slightly. _Now, why on Earth would a **Malfoy** be looking at you, Weasley trash? Muggle lover? Hmm?_

            Instead, Ginny felt Charles's breath tickle the sensitive skin by her ear and whisper, "Wanna get out of here?"

            Shivering with pleasure, delight and something else Ginny couldn't identify, she nodded. "Sure. Quidditch pitch?"

            Charles grinned and together they began to inconspicuously move towards the doors. Oh, but there were a few people who _did_ notice, and one even managed to follow them. 

            Unbeknownst to the two, Ginny and Charles were lip-locked, hidden by the large folds of the Hufflepuff flag that cascaded down the Hufflepuff Quidditch viewing stand. Charles moved behind Ginny, kissing her neck and moving his hands around her waist before one moved to her back, inching its way up to her dress' zipper. Hearing the zip, Ginny started. 

            "What are you doing?" she whispered hoarsely. 

            "Do you want me to stop? I will if you say so," answered Charles hastily. His hands began to pull away from her body, and Ginny didn't want that. 

            "No, it's okay," she said, turning around to face him. Nodding, he continued, just stopping the zipper at a stop, and slipping his hands underneath the clothing article. They made their way simultaneously, before reaching her bra and unclasping. Ginny shuddered, and then opened her eyes in horror as she realized Charles was pulling the cloths she had pushed in the cups to make her bust larger, out. 

            One red cloth went tucked into his robe's pocket, and then the blue on in the other. Then, within seconds, there was another St. Aristippus boy in front of her, with a camera, and her bra and top was pulled up as the flash went off. 

            Charles and the other teen laughed and high-fived each other as Ginny slumped, pale as snow, against the Hufflepuff tower, clutching her loose bra and top part of her dress to her body. 

            Though, before the two were out of her sight, a few more St. Aristippus boys joined the group. Slinking into the shadows, Ginny watched in horror as they laughed loudly and talked about who had found the largest pair of –

            "HEY!" a voice shouted, and a familiar one at that. Ginny pulled herself slightly out of the shadows to see Draco Malfoy, with Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Harry Potter, and _oh Merlin_ – Ron Weasley come barreling towards the five St. Aristippus teens. 

            "What the fuc—"

            Ginny was sure that Charles would've tried to finish that sentence if Draco's fist hadn't connected with the teen's jaw. His head popped back, and Charles stumbled, a hand to his bleeding mouth. 

            "You little shit," he snarled at Draco, before stepping forward with his other four friends right behind him. 

            Then, just as quickly as the picture had been taken, Crabbe had one St. Aristippus in a headlock, begging to be released, Goyle had knocked one out with one punch, Harry had done a series of boxing jabs to make the other two stumble back and get knocked out by Ron behind them. Draco, however, had gone far enough to knock Charles into next Friday, tied him up, and then out of spite, spat at his booted feet. 

            "That's for violating a girl, you—" Draco would've continued if Harry hadn't laid a restraining hand on his shoulder. 

            "He can't here you, though I wish he could," said the Boy Who Lived, removing his hand. "Thanks for telling us about this when we met in the hallway."

            Draco drawled, "Well, I thought it was best for Weasel here to know what was going on with his sister. And 'sides, I would've never thought I'd live to see the day you, Potty, snuck out of detention."

            Ginny's eyes widened. Her brother and his friends snuck out of detention? Why?

            "Anyway, we're heading back to the dance. I need to find Hermione and explain something to her," sighed Harry, running a hand through his messy hair. "Let's go, Ron."

            "But—"

            "Let's _go_, Ron."

            "Fine," grumbled Ron, turning his back on where Ginny was half-hidden. She saw him lean forward and grab the front of Draco's robes and hiss something at him, but Draco laughed and unhinged his robes from Ron's vice-like grip. 

            After he and Harry disappeared over the hill, Draco turned to his two goonies, and told them to wait for him back at the dance. Once they two, had disappeared, he turned to face Ginny, now fully hidden in the shadows. 

            She saw him look right at her, and she blushed. He came striding forward, and stopped right before her. 

            "There's no sense in hiding, Ginny, come out. I can see you in the dark anyway," he said, in surprisingly, not a drawl. 

            Bushing even more, Ginny hunched her shoulders, making herself as small as possible before coming out into the faded light. 

            Draco swore under his breath as his eyes traveled from her muddled hair, to the dress and bra she had still clutched to her body. 

            He stepped closer, muttering about a "sonofabitch, Merlinhelpthatmother—" He stopped when he saw Ginny's scared face. 

            "I'm not going to hurt you. Just turn around and I'll help you put your clothes back on. Then we can held back to the dance and pretend this didn't happen, okay?"

            Nodding shyly, Ginny stepped forward, a tiny step, and found herself staring at Draco Malfoy's chest. He smirked a bit, but didn't say anything as he stood behind her and helped her clasp her bra back on and zip up her dress top. 

            "Are you going to be okay, Ginny? Not going to throw up or start crying on me now, are you?" asked Draco, stepping in front of her again. 

            Shaking her red head, Ginny looked up at him. "You said my name."

            "What? What did you say?"

            "You – You called me 'Ginny'. Not 'Weasley Junior', but Ginny," said Ginny, slightly breathless. Her blue eyes searched his own steely ones. "Why?"

            "I dunno what you're going on about, Weasley. Don't be a wanker. I wouldn't call you anything else but Weasley, Ginny."

            "You did it again!" surprise and pleasure were in her voice as Draco snapped his eyes closed and clenched his hands at his side. 

            _Let that one slip didn't you?_ A voice in his head taunted. _Give it up. One night isn't going to hurt you – your father will never know. _

            Draco remained tense until he felt two, small arms wrap themselves around his midsection, giving him one of his first remembered hugs. 

            His robe muffled Ginny's "Thank you," but that didn't stop Draco from putting his own arms awkwardly around her. 

            "Um, it's no problem, really. I mean, I knew that guy was an as – er, tosser, and I knew he might try something so I came out here…"

            "You don't have to explain," Ginny said, pulling back. "I'm just grateful that you were there. Thanks." Then, she shyly raised her head and asked, "Want to go back to the dance together, then?"

            Draco smirked, but Ginny thought it wasn't as much as he normally smirked, but more of a tiny smile. Drawling, he waved his while placing an arm around Ginny, "Well, I normally wouldn't go to a dance with a _Weasley_, but since you're _special_… Yeah, sure, Ginny. I'll go with you."

            Ginny grinned and together they began to walk back to the dance.

**-**

            Hermione bit her bottom lip in anxiety. She had seen Charles take Ginny out somewhere, and that was half an hour ago. They hadn't come back, and she was beginning to worry about her closest little friend. 

            "Do you think she's okay?" Hermione asked, her eyes catching Chad's before he winked sluggishly once and turned away, dancing with Cho. 

            "Ginny can handle herself, Herm. She's a growing girl and she"—

            "And she what, Blaise?" asked Hermione, looking up from the cups. "Holy Mother of Merlin and all other Creations!" she gasped out, dropping the cup. 

            There, in the middle of the dance floor was Ginny, fine with only a messy head of hair, in the arms and **_DANCING_** with Draco Malfoy. Dancing. With Malfoy. Together. 

            "I'm going to faint," Blaise announced just as the thought flashed through Hermione's mind. The two girls watched for a few more minutes before sharing a look. 

            "Where's Charles?" asked Blaise, a little thought popping into her head. Hermione shrugged, but grinned. 

            "I don't know, but I have an idea of what happened to him."

            The two girls giggled before a male teen in robes stopped in front of the two. "Ladies," he began in a recognizable voice, "Can I please can a cup of punch?"

            Hermione giggled once more, while Blaise placed a new tank on the table. Lifting her head and handing the teen the cup, Hermione began, "Sure here you go – what the hell! Dean!" leaning over the table as Dean grasped the cup, Hermione hissed, "Aren't you suppose to be in detention?? In the library?"

            Dean flashed a pearly white grin. "Now, really, Herm – do you think we'd spend the dance in there, with all these beautiful ladies available" – a young witch with long legs past the table and Dean called out after her, – "Hello there, hot stuff!" 

            She shot him a frosty look, which made Dean winch and shudder, "Oooh."

            "And the Deanster is left in the cold again," came Seamus's voice as he joined the two girls. "Hey Herm, Blaise. Can I have a cup too, please?"

            Gapping wordlessly, Hermione handed him a cup. 

            "If you two are out of detention, then where are Ron and Harry?" asked Blaise, voicing what Hermione was thinking. 

            "Ah," Dean said, turning slightly to let his eyes sweep the dance floor. "No idea. They went off with Draco awhile ago, but we haven't seen them since Draco and his goons came back."

            "Oh," said Hermione, her head dropping a bit. "Anyway," she brightened up, "Do you two think you can do me a favor?"

            "Yeah, sure," replied Seamus.

            "Well, firstly, I want to say I'm sorry about the whole… feminist thing."

            "Apology accepted. Is that it?"

            "Um, no. Can you please tear Cho away from her date so I can talk to Chad? I have to… help him with something." Grinned Hermione. Dean and Seamus turned and found Cho dancing very… whorishly with Chad, who was having the time of his life. Dean and Seamus then shared a devilish grin that would've made Fred and George proud. 

            "No problem Herm. Be right back."

            "Take your time!" called Blaise, just as two St. Aristippus boys came up and asked for the punch. She grinned and lured them in with a crocked finger. After handing them two cups, she said, "We made this stuff just for you, and _only_ you. If you want more, ask for the 'Surprise Punch'."

            The two Aristippus teens looked confusedly at each other before shrugging and walking away. After they had gone a few paces and taken a sip, they coughed and glanced at each other. 

            "It's spiked!" said one. 

            "And masterfully!" said the second, in surprise. 

            At that moment, another Aristippus teen came up to them, holding a punch cup in his hands and panting slightly. "Have you guys tried the Surprise Punch?"

            "Yeah!" said the first. "Let's go get some more!"

**-**

            Lavender was shocked. Josh Dower had left her twenty minutes ago to go use the loo and "relieve" himself and hadn't been back since. But that wasn't what shocked her, no – it was the fact that Ginny and dancing with Draco, and the fact that Lavender had seen Ron a few seconds ago in the room and hadn't done anything to Draco, though he was watching the pair carefully. 

            Now, since Josh had disappeared, and the song was over, Ginny detangled herself from Draco's arms and said something to him, before making her way through the crowd to the food stands where Lavender was standing, her arms crossed. 

            Ginny then saw her, and smiled openly. "Hey Lav."

            "Hello yourself, Ginny," replied Lavender, a bit coolly. 

            "Ouch, what jumped up and bit you in the arse?" asked Ginny, glancing at her friend as Ginny grabbed a plat and began piling it with food for two. 

            "Well, besides the fact that my date has disappeared for about twenty minutes, and then you're dancing with Malfoy and Ron hasn't jumped you, it's safe to say I'm a bit confused and shocked."

            "Yeah," smiled Ginny, smacking her lips together as she tasted a small sandwich. "It's an interesting story, but I don't think Ron and Draco'll fight anymore."

            "And why not?" demanded Lavender. 

            Ginny shot her a look. "Well, Charles was a wanker who took a picture of my… ah… you-know… and Draco beat him into a pulp, with Harry and Ron and his goonies."

            Lavender looked from Ginny to Draco, to Ron who caught her eye, and then back at Ginny's hair. "Really?" she asked, her coolness melting away. 

            Ginny nodded. "Yeah. I was a bit shocked, but now they have a medium and grudging respect for each other."

            Lavender nodded, her eyes on Ron, who was in the shadows trying to hide from the Professors. He was also with Harry. 

            "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that Charles did that to you," she said sincerely. 

            "So am I. I'm completely with Hermione now, and again, with her WAM views," nodded and agreed Ginny. Lavender looked at the younger girl. 

            "Oh, didn't you hear? Hermione disbanded WAM this afternoon, just before the dance started. She said she was mistaken, and would do the last scheme of hers alone. And completely alone. She wouldn't have Blaise nor I help."

            Ginny frowned. "Odd."

            "Very, but we respect her decision." Lavender looked up, and again at Ron. 

            "You should just go up to him and ask to dance," interrupted Ginny. 

            "What?" Lavender blushed. "Ask who the dance, Ginny? Really, I can't follow your young minded thoughts anymore."

            Sighing, Ginny stomped her foot before backing away. "Lavender, just ask Ron to dance. I'm sure he'll say yes – after all, there _must_ be a reason why he saved the picture with you, Hermione, Harry and himself and placed it beside his bed."

            Lavender blushed, but then nodded and began to move towards Ron. 

**-**

            "Aw, c'mon, Ron, do you see her?" whined Harry, his own emerald eyes searching the dance floor. "I can't seem to find Hermione anywhere on the dance floor with her date."

            "Aha! It's because she's doing refreshments!" laughed Ron, pointing as Harry followed his line of sight. 

            He was about to say something when a scream cut him off. Turning, he saw the Dean and Seamus had been "grooving" and "accidentally" bumped into Cho, spilling their punch all over her. 

            "You clods!" she screamed, before turning to Hermione, who was nearby and watching with a smug smirk. "Don't you even _think_ to touch my date!" 

            And with that, she turned her nose in the air and began to walk back to her dorm room to change her dress. 

            As soon as she was out of the line of sight, Hermione took Cho's date's hand and whispered something in his ear. His face went a bit redder, and Harry felt something twist his stomach. 

            "Does she fancy him?" he asked, gripping Ron's upper arm. 

            "Oww, ow, ow! Harry, lay off, will you?" asked Ron, pushing his friends' hands away. "How should I know? I just found the girl like you wanted!" 

            "I know, but—"

            "But _nothing_. If you fancy her all that much, go after them!" Ron said, giving Harry a push. Sighing, Harry scratched the back of his head before nodding. He then took off at a fast jog, dodging between dancing couples and groups of friends. 

            When he reached the refreshment table, he panted to Blaise, Dean and Seamus, "Where'd she go?"

            "Er, Gryffindor Dorm for the Marauder's Map and then Ravenclaw Dorms," stuttered Blaise, pointing halfheartedly. 

            "Thanks," he breathed out, dashing away from the table. 

            He raced through the halls, running up the Great Entrance Hall's stairs and jumping the missing one, before taking a shortcut to the Gryffindor Common Room. 

            As he skidded to a halt in front of the Fat Lady portrait, the picture swung open, revealing a griping Hermione and what looked like a stoned date. 

            "Hermione?!" asked Harry, stepping back. 

            Hermione's brown head snapped up and she exclaimed, "Harry?!" in the same tone he used. The other guy looked between the two, laughing lightly and joined the conversation. 

            "Chad?!" he concluded. "You must be Hermione's crush, Harry Potter. 'Leased to meet you."

            "Hermione's _what?_" exclaimed Harry. 

            Hermione turned to Chad and shook her violently. "You little prat! You promised not to say anything if I helped you! ARGH! Deal's off, Brussels!" 

            "No, no, no!" Chad whined. "Help me! Please! Get me expelled!"

            Harry stared at the two before him, before jumping into action. "For Merlin's sake," he snapped, helping Hermione out of the portrait first, then gave Chad a steadier body to lean against, "Let's get this over with while you two explain."

            "Explain?" shrieked Hermione. "EXPLAIN?? Harry, _you_ should be explaining what you're doing out of detention!"

            "In-school suspension," he corrected her glumly, setting his jaw in a line. "Now, can we just go before Cho misses her date – again?"

            Hermione made a face and nodded, telling him her idea about getting Chad expelled. Harry grinned wickedly, and nodded. "If all goes well, I like it."

            Together, they made their way to the Ravenclaw dorms, and used the Map to get the current password. The banner of a Centaur reading the stars parted to show the Ravenclaw entrance, and the trio stepped in. 

            Silence was met from every corner, expect slightly above, where Cho was changing her dress. 

            "Let's do this fast," whispered Harry, taking his Invisibility Cloak from Hermione and draping it over him and her. 

            "Chad," whispered Hermione, "You'll need to take the last… um… pill I have with me. Then, we'll escort you up to Cho's room…"

            "And I'll do the rest," he grinned, walking off to one side and then the next. "Gotcha, 'Mione."

            Rolling her eyes under the cloak, Hermione felt in her pocket for the pill and pulled it out, her hand emerging from thin air as she handed it to Chad. He nodded his thanks and swallowed, before they started moving up the Ravenclaw dorm staircase. 

            "That's the room," whispered Harry. "She would always tell me which room was hers."

            Chad nodded again, and gave the two a tiny salute before his opened the door and found Cho in her underwear. She screamed, but Harry and Hermione didn't stick around to see what would happen. Instead, the two of them raced down the stairs and out of the dorm room. 

            Once they were a safe distance away, Harry pulled Hermione into an empty room and pulled the cloak off them. 

            "Now, what's this about me being your crush?" he demanded, blocking her escape route by leaning against the door. 

            "Um," began Hermione, waving her hands around a bit, before continuing, "Well, it's true."

            "You mean you fancy me? After everything that I put you through and your silly WAM thing?" asked Harry, surprised. 

            "Yes," squeaked Hermione, when he began to step slowly closer to her. Just as his head inched close to Hermione's, she backed up some more and demanded, "And what about all those split personalities, huh, Harry?"

            "Oh," at this, Harry blushed. "Well, you see, I also happened to fancy you… very much so, and… I, ah, didn't know what kind of bloke you fancied…"

            "So?"

            "So I asked Dean, Seamus and Ron for advise."

            "WHAT?" Hermione nearly screamed. "You asked the three most notorious playboys and bachelors in the school how to get a girl?"

            Harry closed his eyes. "When you put it that way it sounds bad."

            "Bad???" exclaimed Hermione. "Harry, you were doing fine on your own before you went all… John Travolta and James Dean and _gay_ on me!" 

            "Gay?" gasped Harry, a hand flying to point at himself. "Me? WHEN?"

            Hermione stepped slightly forward. "Yes, you – when you were so interested in books and literature and you spoke so refined. You sounded and acted gay. To me at least."

            Harry rolled his eyes, stepping forward, making Hermione back away. He did it again, and this time she bumped into the Professor's desk. 

            "I can assure you, Hermione, that I'm not gay," said Harry, before smacking his lips on hers. His hands found themselves to her back and one to her neck, while hers tangled themselves in his ebony hair. 

            Harry growled deep in his throat, before slanting his lips to a new angle, getting more of Hermione. Then, his tongue traced her lips, and she allowed him access to her mouth. His tongue entered her mouth, and a moan came from Hermione. 

            While all this happened, Harry's hand on Hermione's small back pulled her closer to him, and she unconsciously moved her legs apart while Harry placed one leg between hers. Without realizing it, they had somehow found their way on the desk for a _serious_ and long overdue make out session. 

            Hermione hands were busy playing with the hair at the base of Harry's neck, while one of his braced itself on the desk as not to crush Hermione, and the other was woven around her waist to bring her as close as possible to him. 

            "The scream's coming from the Ravenclaw dorms!" came a nearby voice. It was so near that Harry and Hermione both jumped startled, and fell off the desk and behind it with a loud thump. 

            "Wait! Did you hear that?" came another voice. The door then opened, and two shadows entered the room. Seeing nothing amiss, the first person sighed. 

            "No, no one hear. Let's continue on," it said. The other hesitated before shutting the door. 

            Hermione, on the ground and underneath Harry, craned her neck to see if the two were truly gone. However, that was detained as Harry began to kiss her neck. 

            "Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you?" he mumbled into her skin. Hermione sighed. 

            "No. No idea," she replied, smiling serenely. Harry pulled back and propped himself up on his elbow. 

            "A long, long time, my 'Mione. A very long time," he grinned. Hermione smiled back at him, before looping an arm around his neck and bringing his face back down to her. 

            "C'mere you," she laughed in the darkness of the classroom. There were a few minutes of silence except the sounds of two people kissing, before they broke apart, panting. 

            "Hey, Hermione…"

            "Yeah, Harry?"

            "What was that pill you gave Chad?"

            Silence. 

            "Umm… it was a…"

            "A…?"

            "Miltown."

            "WHAT?"

**-**

AN: Wow! Took me a while to finish that off. Anyway, things shall run smoother now that I own "Strike/All I Wanna Do" on DVD and can watch it whenever. I hope you are all enjoy this, and to answer any questions:

**HoT*lIkE*fire**: LOL, go and offend me, I don't mind! I take the good with the bad, and that makes me a better author because of it. Yeah, everyone is wondering, just _what_ is Hermione thinking? Well, I guess you got a clue here, but she still has to explain a lot to Harry – and some other people… **evil laughter**

**Cuddlelove**: "About time someone wrote something like this" – Aww! Thanks! But it's not because I'm a feminist or anything – I just felt like changing and mixing some things up like crazy. ^_~ I can't help it. Is it my fault I wish I led such a crazy life like Hermione?

**Naturesbungle**: There's a new concept! Most people feel bad for Hermione, and you're feeling bad for the boys and Gin and Parvati? ((Hm, thanks for reminding me to add Parvati in – she'll pop up in chapter five!)) Bravo for being different and unique! Kudos to you!

**Stoneheart**: Why, hellooooo again. Ah, yes. Just as many layers to this story as there are in onions. ((Thank Shrek for that one)) From comedy to romance, yep, that's my specialty. In truth, I've got now idea. None. Nada. But let's keep that between you and mean – I wouldn't want to secret to get out ((mock whispers)) okay? And um… (Mafalda Hopkirk) Who? Never got one either, just in case you're wondering… so… perhaps they should try again? ^_~ Righty-ho!

Sparkle Tangerine: Hello again! That's a fair good of advise to Harry – take your love life into your own hands, laddie, don't trust your friends. They'd probably screw it up, just like in real life! **coughJASONcough** did you like the snogging at the end? I put it in just for you! ^_^ But you're right; Hermione has gone too far, and this is where she realizes it. Now she just has to live up to her actions… 

**Roku kyu**: Hey there!! Wow, I never expected you to read one of my stories, and especially a Harry Potter one! I thought you were all _Fushigi Yuugi_ and _Inu-Yashi_! Oh yes, very amusing and many undertones and as Stoneheart says, layers. Hahaha, are they the same length? That's pretty interesting because I though yours were longer – ah, must be the font size or something! Oh yeah… I happen to hate the fact that people think, _Slytherin = evil; Ravenclaw = smart; Hufflepuff = dense and loyal; Gryffindor = brave, heroic_. Life ain't like that, and everyone has a good and bad side, no matter where or what house they're in. I look forward to seeing more of your reviews, and be sure to look for mine on your "…Cast" FY fanfic with your shameless self-family insertation, lol!


	5. That Bites the Hairy Bird!

Passing Notes

Kneazle

**Disclaimer**: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, etc. All fonts used can be found at the Font Garden. Basic plot (GG meetings) based on the movie _Strike_ (re-released as _All I Wanna _Do, and in Australia, known as _The Hairy _Bird) and _Bedazzled_. The idea of "passing notes" for a subplot is based on my life in (my old) Spanish and math class, and from Cosmo Girl! Most Brit language is from the AMAZING Louise Rennison books, "On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a SEX GOD", and "Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas", and _Disney's the Princess Dairies_. Song is owned by E-Type, "_Life_". Drug knowledge of the Miltown is from Yahoo's! health and drug section.

**Summary**: Passing notes in class is fun; secrets are shared, gossip is spread, and friends get closer.  Now the boys are on a mission to find out just _what_ the Gryffindor girls are writing… just what are the GG meetings? What's the purpose? Will the passing notes be responsible for something Hogwarts has never seen before?

**Rating**: PG-13

**Spoilers**: HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & the Goblet of Fire

**-**

CHAPTER FIVE: _That Bites the Hairy Bird!_

            By the time Harry and Hermione had finished their snog session, the dance was nearly at an end, with only a few songs left that were to be played by the band. 

            The two felt it was best if they did not dance; there were too many Professors standing about, and Snape was looking just as malevolent as ever, tearing apart couples who were "dancing too close that a piece of air couldn't get in between". 

            In the end, Hermione settled on kissing Harry goodbye on cheek, before taking her position by the refreshment table.

            "Where have you been?" hissed Blaise, in her usual Slytherin voice. Hermione winked. 

            "Well, if you really want to know…" she gloated, before whispering to the girl, "Ravenclaw Tower, Gryffindor Dorms, empty classroom and here."

            "Oh, okay… WHAT?? Empty classroom? Why? Did you need to hide? Everyone heard Cho scream, even over the music! What happened?" Blaise sputtered out, her brown eyes wide with wonderment. 

            Hermione laughed, "Oh, don't worry. I'll tell you later, okay? It'll be great, when you hear everything… ah…" She wiped a fake tear from her eye to show Blaise just how much fun the whole adventure had been. 

            "And, now, the second last song we're going ta play," announced the lead singer of the band, Flat Critters, that Dumbledore had hired. The music started up, and couples began dancing to the _unch, unch, unch_ of the beats.

_One more time_

_I leave behind those burning bridges_

_It's a crime_

_I am here_

_There must be somewhere I can breathe_

_Now take me there_

            "Hey, look at the St. Aristippus boys," laughed Dean as he came over to where the two girls were standing and talking. The two girls followed his finger to see just how pathetic that school was. The boys were all in a circle, jumping in and out of it while singing, "Hokey Pokey". Hermione shook her head. 

            "I think they drank too much of the Surprise Punch," she revealed. 

            "Surprise Punch?" asked Dean, surprised. "Why didn't I have any of it? Look – all the girls are watching them!"

            "Yah, with disgust," said Blaise, rolling her eyes. "Besides, it was for the St. Aristippus boys, not you or anyone from Hogwarts… though, it might do Goyle and Crabbe some goodness for their favor."

            Hermione laughed, but when she looked up, her face paled. "Crap! McGonagall's coming this way! Hide the tankard!"

            She and Blaise began to scramble as they disposed all the remaining cups, which they loaded onto Dean to pass out for free, before hiding the Surprise Punch tank underneath the table, where they could toss it outside and use cleaning charms to get it clean. 

_It's time to see_

_I want to make you breathe_

_Life can be whatever, what you want it to be_

_You need the key_

_I'm gonna make you see_

_No more make believe, you just go_

            "What's going on here?" McGonagall asked, just as Blaise stood from hiding the tank. 

            "Oh, nothing, Professor," she said, plastering a smile on her face. 

            "Where's Hermione?" she asked, her lips going thinner as she spoke. 

            "Ah, right here, Professor," came Hermione's voice, as she stood, smiling. "I spilt some of the punch on the ground, so I used a cleaning charm to fix it up. I hope that is all right."

            "Yes, it is," snapped McGonagall. She motioned to the Hokey Pokey dancers behind her. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

            "Of course not!" both girls gasped out. "Why?"

            "Put your homer in, put your homer out, and wag it all about," wobbled the off-key dancers. Hermione, Blaise and Professor McGonagall winced visibly.

            "Just a hunch. I'll be watching the two of you," Professor McGonagall finished up, before turning sharply on her heel. 

            Both Hermione and Blaise shared a look, before turning to watch the Professor head away. 

            "Hey…" said Dean, as he returned, "Where's Parvati's date? He was the one with a camera around his neck, taking pictures of everyone."

            Both girls shrugged. "But there's Parvati, now," said Hermione, pointing.

            Dean turned to see Parvati tap one of the Hokey Pokey boys on the shoulder. It turned out to be Hermione's date, Darrel Cockner. 

            "Have you seen my date?" politely asked Parvati, wringing her hands in worry. Darrel looked at her for a moment before turning back to the group.

            Shouting, he said, "Put your date in!"

            Parvati was pushed into the circle, and Dean stood straight. The three watched as she was bounced around, scared and confused. Finally, not taking it anymore, Dean strode forward, shoved Darrel away (thinking he heard Hermione cheer when he fell on the floor), and grabbed Parvati by the arm, pulling her out of the circle. 

            "Thank you, oh, thank you, thank you!" chanted Parvati over and over, clinging breathlessly to Dean, who had a blush staining his dark cheeks. 

_What's that sound?_

_My destiny is bound for changes_

_Lost and found_

_You tell me_

_There's gonna be a showdown somewhere_

_It's unreal_

            "It's not a problem," Dean replied, huffily, before he offered his arm to Parvati. "Shall we ditch this place? No one will miss us."

            "Sure," grinned Parvati, taking his arm, just ask Snape shouted, "THOMAS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF DETENTION??"

            Hermione and Blaise shared an "uh oh" look, just as Snape strode over, grabbed Dean's upper arm and spun him around. Parvati moved to stand near Blaise, shocked. 

            "Uh… hi, Professor," mumbled Dean. 

            "Yes, hello, Mr. Thomas. Mind telling me why you're not in your in-school suspension in the library?" asked Snape coolly. 

            "Uh… I needed a drink?" he tried. 

            "Tell it to the Headmaster. Maybe now he can expel you!" sneered Snape, dragging Dean to the doors. However, Seamus, who was dancing, was bumped out of his circle and into Snape. 

            "Mr. Finnigan! Care the join us to the Headmaster's office?" Snape almost cackled with glee. Seamus paled considerably, but nodded sullenly. "Now, if you and Mr. Thomas are out, I am sure that the worst of you two are also free… so, spare me the trouble of finding Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, why don't you?"

            "We would if we could," replied Seamus, in his Irish accent, "But, Professor, we don't know where Ron and Harry are."

            "Codswallop!" snapped Snape. "Now, where are they?"

            "Severus," came McGonagall's voice, "Allow me to deal with these two, and more… they are my House students, after all."

            "Minerva," came Snape's voice in a warning tone. The two teens watched as the two House head stare each other down, and slowly backed up towards the doors on their own. 

            "Hold it right there, you two!" shouted Minerva, pointing a finger at them, without looking away from Snape. The two boys slumped, before standing where they were in defeat. "Now, let's head to my office, where I shall deal with you two accordingly."

            Parvati, Hermione, and Blaise watched in defeat and sadness as two of their friends were taken against their crazy and free will to be punished more severely than before. 

            Sighing, Hermione stepped around the table. 

            "Where are you going?" asked Blaise. 

            "I'm going to find Harry, Ron, Draco and Ginny. I think we all have to head to Professor Dumbledore's office. We all have some explaining to do, and maybe… it's time to come clean."

            Blaise nodded and smiled. "Come clean? Oh… hey, Hermione?"

            "Hmm?"

            "Thanks."

            "For what?" the bushy-haired girl asked, confused. 

            Blaise smiled shyly at the table, before looking up. "Well, for being kind enough to give a Slytherin a chance to prove we're not all that bad. And… also for being a friend. These past few months have been great ever since you came into my life. Thanks."

            Hermione smiled kindly at the girl before turning and walking onto the dance floor, talking to Draco and Ginny. They both nodded and followed her into the shadows, as she found Ron, Lavender and Harry. They then all emerged from the darkness, heading to the door. 

            "You know," began Parvati, making Blaise jump, "They make an interesting group. We all do."

            "I know what you mean," laughed Blaise. "Wizards above, do I know what you mean!"

_It's time to see_

_I'm gonna make you see_

_No more make believe, you just go_

_I've got life_

_You're always on my mind_

_You gotta believe in something, all right_

_Forever by your side_

_I've got life_

**-**

            McGonagall's office was packed. She had been yelling at Dean and Seamus when there had been a knock on her door, and Hermione strode in with the rest of the accused behind her. Cho Chang (fully dressed), and Chad Brussels, was also in the office, only a few seconds later. 

            "QUIET!!" she shouted, over the din, waving her wand so threatening sparkles flew out. The students immediately sat on the floor, or a seat, or a lap, shutting up effectively. 

            When this was accomplished, Minerva McGonagall rubbed her temples and wearily asked Hermione, "Now, what are you doing here?"

            "Professor," said Hermione standing, "This is all my fault. Everything that happened today, the in-school suspension, the St. Aristippus boys… everything has been because of me."

            McGonagall's eyes opened in shock as she looked at her favored student, and lifted her head from the desk. "How so, Ms. Granger?"

            Hermione glanced away for a second, licking her lips before starting to explain, "Well, it began that morning when I left early, and Harry followed me, asking for help for an assignment…"

            "That's not unusual," interrupted a snickering Dean. 

            "Thomas!" barked McGonagall. 

            "_Sorry_," he apologized, but he didn't look like it. 

            Hermione sighed before continuing. "Harry did… something that made me mad in Professor Lupin's class, and because of it, I explained to my friends what happened, skipping the rest of my classes…"

_            (("Indeed I did," grinned weakly Hermione. She stole a glance at Lavender and Parvati, whose jaws were almost touching the ground in shock, to Ron, who was laughing with silent laughter with tears running down his face, and to Harry who was staring back at her, a knowing smirk on his face. _

_            Smirk?_

_            God, no – Hermione's brain went on a total shutdown. Harry was smirking at her, like he knew that his words could have affected her that way. What was she? A bloody Victorian flower that fainted in warm weather? Um, excuse me, she was **not**.))_

            "Ah, _that_ day." Said McGonagall, opening a drawer in her desk. "Afterwards, all of these were found the next day."

            Hermione paled as Professor McGonagall lifted her hand from the drawer, a stack of parchment paper with different colours in her hand. She raised one eyebrow at Hermione before reading a few of them. 

            _((Morning Mio, Gin, Vita – Sleep well, I hope. I was the last to receive the note last night; so, I think it's best if I start this off ASAP! Mandatory GG meeting in our dorm at seven tonight – bring homework as not too look conspicuous. Those guys are getting nosier every day, the hounds that they are. Anyway, that's all I have to say. Anything interesting? Add it on! TTYL – love Lav))_

            Ginny and Hermione made small squeaking noises at the mention of their nicknames. Alas, McGonagall didn't stop. 

"And these are from Professor Snape's classroom, which he had found," she said, before continuing. 

_((B – I do this with my friends a lot. It's much more private. So, do you fancy Draco? – H…))_

Hermione gave a louder squeak, and found herself sinking to the floor, her eyes stuck on something only she could see. Draco blushed a bit in the back of the group, but didn't say anything. 

"Y-You have all of them?" sputtered Ginny, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I thought we had gotten rid of them all!" 

McGonagall's cool eyes looked up over the paper to the girl. 

            "Oh, yes… the House Elves are more than happy to collect any discarded paper around the dorm rooms, but when they found these notes… they gave them to me," she said, her voice clipped. 

            "Ah, bugger!" moaned Hermione, her head in her hands. _I guess it's time for you to live up to what you did._

            "Now, there is the unfortunate occurrence of Mr. Brussels here arriving and finding his way into Ms. Chang's dorm room. Anyone care to explain?" asked a persistent McGonagall. 

            No one spoke. 

            "Mr. Brussels? Which of these students helped you?" she tried. Chad, who was sober now, said nothing. "Oh, are you under any sort of wand pack?"

            "Nope," he said, flashing the Professor a smart grin. "I just don't want to say because I made a promise and I want to be expelled."

            McGonagall groaned and sank her own head onto her desk. This was _not her day. Instead, she mumbled, "Why do you want to be expelled?"_

            "I don't want to march off the same cliff all the other St. Aristippus students are. I want to live my life the way I want. St. Aristippus is a prep school, right? So we're all getting the same treatment and same dreams. I want my own," Chad finished importantly. Ginny clapped at the end of his speech, but stopped shortly thereafter when no one joined her. 

            There was silence in the room. 

            Then:

            "It's okay Chad. I know we made the promise, but I'm probably going to get expelled anyway, so I'll just go ahead and say what I did," came Hermione's small voice. 

            Cho suddenly screamed, "AHA!!" and pointed a finger at her. "I _knew she did it!"_

            Hermione shot Cho a nasty look, before taking a deep breath and saying, "I gave Chad two Miltowns."

            The teens of the room snorted, trying to mask their laughs. McGonagall, this time, let her head drop on the desk with a _smack!_

            Chad grinned sheepishly. "Well, I wanted them…"

            _This is not happening, not at all, thought Minerva McGonagall. __Why did I ever quit drinking? Merlin, I need a good shot of vodka or rum with coke right about now…_

            "Continue, Ms. Granger," said McGonagall in a tired voice, waving her hand with her wand in it. Lazily, the wand emitted a strange sighing sound. 

            "Right, Professor. Anyway, Chad told me that he wanted to get expelled, so I had an idea that _would, and it worked, right? He's going to get expelled?"_

            "Yes, Ms. Granger, he'll be expelled from St. Aristippus, no matter what, even if his Grandfather is on the board."

            "Okay, good. After that, umm… well, I helped him a bit, but he did most on his own."

            "Point taken."

            "Thank you, Professor," smiled Hermione, continuing. "As for WAM…"

            "WAM, Ms. Granger?"

            "Oh, yes," laughed shakily Hermione. "WAM – Witches Against Males. It was our secret group that was consisting of witches… well, against males. It worked out fine, and we did a couple of pranks, and most of the female population was in our group, but it was disbanded before the dance, Professor."

            "Oh, well, thank Merlin for that," mumbled McGonagall. "Continue."

            "Thank you, Professor," continued, as told, Hermione. "Umm… after that, we began planning a prank for tonight, but we called it off when the group was disbanded. That's about it."

            "So, let me get this straight, Ms. Granger," sighed McGonagall. "Mr. Potter did something to make you mad"—

            "More like livid," snickered Ginny, thinking of the poor pillow that Hermione had nearly squeezed into oblivion when she had told everyone that Harry smirked at her. 

            "—Livid, then, and you got back at him by creating WAM, which most female witches in the school were members of. You played pranks that were superior to the Weasley twins', and you had one planned for tonight, but you didn't. Instead, you helped Chad Brussels get himself expelled from his school."

            "Yes, Professor," said Hermione with more confidence than she ever had. 

            "And how does Mr. Potter, Thomas, Finnigan and Weasley's in-school suspension disappearance come in to play?" she asked, writing all this down on a piece of parchment. 

            "Oh," laughed weakly Harry, "We did that on our own."

            "Explain, Mr. Potter."

            "Yes, Professor. Well, you know how we _got into the suspension… but afterwards? We felt as if we were needed at the dance, so we used a hologram charm to make replicas of ourselves in the library. Then, while we were walking down the hall, we met up with Draco Malfoy and his two… friends. He told us Ginny might be in trouble, so we went with him to the Quidditch Pitch, where, indeed, Ginny was in trouble."_

            "Ms. Weasley, explain."

            "Um… Charles Madison had taken me down to the Quidditch Pitch to, ah… snog," Ginny flushed. "But instead, he had other… sinister things in mind, which, ah… included taking a picture of my… um…"

            "Oh God," interrupted McGonagall, rolling her eyes. "I understand, Ms. Weasley, you don't have to continue."

            "Thank you, but I do. After the picture was taken, Draco, Harry, Ron, Crabbe and Goyle arrived and… beat the five other St. Aristippus boys to a pulp."

            Chad whistled. "Good job, mates, good job! I never liked Charles Madison at all…"

            _Vodka… now… please…! Thought McGonagall, as she wrote Chad's dislike for the teen down. "Names of the students attacked, please?"_

            "Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher," the teen chorused.

            "Were their memories Obliverated?" asked McGonagall. 

            Draco snapped his fingers. "I _knew we forgot something!"_

            "Now, out of pure curiosity, why did that slip your mind, Mr. Malfoy?" 

            "Well… I was upset, Professor. No one should be treated that way, and that was all I could think about, so all other… I guess, sane thought disappeared. My emotions were too strung out," said Draco, shrugging a bit. 

            "Draco Malfoy has feelings?" Cho whispered to herself, though aloud. Everyone in the room shot her a nasty look.

"Is that all that happened this evening, because there still is the Hokey Pokey incident at the dance we need to sort out."

            At this, Chad and Cho choked. "Hokey Pokey?" they gasped out. 

            Hermione gave a wry smile. "Me again. Blaise and I made a special punch for the St. Aristippus boys. We hadn't planned on using it, but when we saw that things weren't going nicely… well, we brought the tank out and gave it only to them, not any of the Hogwarts boys."

            "What was in the punch, Ms. Granger?" asked McGonagall. 

            "Ah… well, fruit punch," Hermione turned a bit red. She then rushed it out, "You see, because I'm a bit… more studious that others I happen to have a lot of spare time in my summer, and this summer I was bored and my parents had been at a conference for dentists, and I had a small party with my muggle friends and they told me how to, ah…"

            "Ah… what?" broke in Ron, entranced with the story involving Muggles. 

            "To… ah, masterfully spike the punch with alcohol so that it's undetected by the initial sniff or taste, though it works fast to intoxicate your system," Hermione rushed out quickly. 

            This time, there was no stopping Professor McGonagall as she banged her head against her desk. "My prize student!" she wailed. "Spiking the punch!"

            "Only the St. Aristippus people, though," corrected Seamus, standing up slightly to defend Hermione, "not anyone at Hogwarts."

            "And that makes it better, how, Sherlock?" mumbled Harry. Seamus blushed but sat back down on the floor. 

            "Is this all that happened?" asked Professor McGonagall. 

            The group nodded, though Cho tried once again to get Hermione in more trouble than she was, but it didn't work. 

            "She planned it all! Everything! Attacked me into leaving my date to seduce him! It was **she**!" Cho spat. 

            "Shut up, Cho," called weakly seven voices. When she didn't, Chad placed a hand on her forehead and pushed her down on the floor forcefully. 

            With her lips trembling despairingly, McGonagall said, "You will all retire to your common rooms, and Chad, you will come with me to your Quidditch Coach. Then, after arriving in your dorms, you will stay there until tomorrow after when I will come to collect you all one by one to assign you your punishment(s)."

            "Aw…" moaned Ginny and Hermione together, "That bites the hairy bird!"

            Everyone looked at the two oddly, but didn't press the subject. Instead, they sighed dejectedly, but did as they were told. No sense in doing anything now, it would just add to their punishment list already. 

            As the Gryffindors went their way, Draco went his, and Cho indignantly went towards the Ravenclaw tower, there was a sullen mood in the air. No one wanted tomorrow to come, because it would certainly bestow upon them the worst day of their life. 

**-**

            The next afternoon, Saturday, Hermione was slumped in a chair in the common room, playing with a string as she played Cat's Cradle. It was nearly two, and McGonagall hadn't come into their common room yet. Most Gryffindors were in the room, waiting for McGonagall to come and take the students out one by one. When they would arrive, there would either be a party for not being expelled, or many sad consolations as someone left Hogwarts. 

            "I wonder what's going to happen," thought aloud Ginny. 

            "Well, you're not going to get expelled," sighed Hermione. She made the strings as tight as she could, before Lavender leaned forward and pinched two and flipped them to the outside, making the strings tighter and smaller. 

            "Think of it this way, Hermione," said Parvati; "You'll be leaving Hogwarts in a bang."

            "I suppose. I wonder where I could go. Do you think Beauxbatons will take me in?" asked Hermione. 

            "No," came a new voice, "Since you are _not getting expelled."_

            Hermione craned her neck back to see Harry swoop down and plant a kiss on her lips. "Hey Harry."

            The common room was silent.

            "When did this happen?" gasped Ginny. 

            "Ah… yesterday," said Harry vaguely. 

            "I think we all know that, Harry," came Colin's voice. The room laughed, but it died down as the portrait swung open, revealing Minerva McGonagall, Head of the Gryffindor House. 

            "Hermione Granger," she called. Hermione dropped the string of Cat's Cradle and kissed Harry once more on the cheek, before walking purposefully and confidently towards the Professor. 

            "Here, Professor," she said in a smooth voice. McGonagall nodded coolly, before motioning her to leave before her. 

            As they stepped out of the Common Room, everyone wondered just _what was going to happen. _

**-**

            An hour and a half later, the portrait opened to reveal Hermione. She said nothing as she walked past everyone to stand at the foot of the staircase. 

            "Can I have your attention please?" she shouted. The room went quiet. When she was sure she had everyone's attention, she unfolded a piece of paper and began to read off it. 

            "Brown, Lavender; Detention for a week with Filch, for being a main part of the WAM committee. Granger, Hermione; in-school suspension for a week from Hogwarts, due to excellent marks and after-school achievements, there will be no expulsion. Patil, Parvati; Will have one detention, with Professor Sprout, for being at one time a member of WAM. And Weasley, Ginny; She will receive one detention with Professor Trelawney, for being at one time a member of WAM," Hermione concluded. "For the boys."

            There was more silence, as the room grew somber. 

            "Finnigan, Seamus; He will receive an addition to his in-school suspension, to now include the first two months of your seventh year at Hogwarts. This includes, Potter, Harry; Thomas, Dean; and Weasley, Ron." Hermione closed her eyes and smile graced her lips. As the cheering shook the ceiling, Hermione whistled for everyone's attention. 

            "There is more," she revealed. "Don't you want to know what happened to Draco, Blaise, Chad and Cho?"

            "Tell us, tell us!" someone screamed. 

            "Well," gossiped Hermione happily to the quiet room, "Draco Malfoy will have detention for the rest of the month, for beating up Charles Madison. Blaise will have detention for a week with McGonagall, and Chad is getting expelled from St. Aristippus, but has been accepted here. As for Cho Chang… well… she just gets detention for one night for pretty much all the rude things she said about me in her interview, after being told to stop more than once. As for Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher… they're all being expelled from St. Aristippus for what they did to Ginny, and have _not_ been accepted to Hogwarts."

            More cheers went up, as everything got what it deserved, and no one was expelled. Hermione watched everyone with bleary eyes, and even more so Ron who was asking Lavender to reveal where they got all their prank ideas. Hermione was swept into the cheers and hurrahs, when she felt someone slip an arm around her waist. 

            "So, are you happy that you're not expelled?" whispered a voice in her ear. A shiver went down Hermione's spine as she leaned against the person. 

            "Of course I am. You know I'd rather die than be expelled," Hermione laughed. 

            "Well," continued the voice, "I remember that you used that time turner illegally at one time, to help free Sirius."

            "I was told to… so I wouldn't get in trouble," defended Hermione, turning in the person's arms to wrap her own around his neck. 

            "But you would've gotten in trouble with the Ministry. Oh, and there was the time before the First Task in the Tournament, when we snuck to an empty classroom to practice spells at night," continued the person. Hermione kissed him on the lips, before mumbling something to him. 

            "Too bad that's all we did." 

            Harry Potter then turned scarlet, glancing to the side in embarrassment. Hermione laughed and together the two joined the festivities, having a good time, until McGonagall came in to the Common Room, wearing a robe over her nightgown and screaming how it was three in the morning and there would be no hesitation in expulsion now if people didn't go to bed immediately. 

            As the party was put to an end, it certainly didn't put an end to the elation in the Gryffindor's hearts, knowing that their own didn't get expelled… though they all found out the next day they had lost four hundred points and were currently at 15 House points. 

**-**

            At breakfast, the next morning, the Gryffindor table was the loudest. They had every right to be happy, and it showed. No one was in serious trouble, even when the mail came, with red howlers filling most of the sky up. 

            Everyone laughed as the screaming voices of parents were drowned out by each other. There was a puff of smoke lingering in the air as all Howlers burst into flames, and as Cho Chang stopped with her friends behind Hermione's seat at the Gryffindor table. 

            "Well," she began, "I can see they made a mistake in keeping you in this school."

            "What, Cho?" asked Hermione, surprised. "Are you threatened that I can beat your high marks in school, or is it something else?"

            "Something else, Hermione," snapped Cho, like Hermione has asked if the world was flat. "You got away with drugging my date at the dance, so don't feel bad when something happens to your date at the Yule Dance next year."

            "Ah, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a sixth year. That means you'll be gone next year, Cho," smiled Hermione. "Sorry."

            "Well, I'm not sorry to leave this place and _you_," she all but sneered. Hermione's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. 

            "Oh, really?"

            "Yeah!"

            Hermione slowly stood, and the voices dropped to a hush in the Great Hall. 

            "Here we go," muttered Harry to Ron, who nodded in agreement. Hermione flicked her hair over her shoulder and opened her mouth, her hand grasping her porridge spoon tightly.

            "Well…" she began, before a smile graced her lips. "Up your ziggy with a wawa brush!" Before letting the porridge smack Cho in the chest.

            The ex-WAM girls all began to laugh, understanding the meaning, while the rest of the school laughed at Cho's embarrassment. Cho blushed a tomato red. 

            "You're horrible, Hermione! You're such a freak!" she shouted, turning to the teachers at the high table, all who were discussing something. "Professor Dumbledore! Did you see that?"

            Dumbledore raised his head, looking from Hermione to Cho, to Cho's chest and said, "Oh, no, sorry Ms. Chang, I was in the middle of an important meeting. Send it to the House Elves for dry-cleaning."

            Cho emitted a shrill squeak of anger, before turning back to Hermione.

            "Yeah, well, I guess I'll always be a freak then… but you – you will always be a jerk," said Hermione seriously. "Grow up, Cho. The world doesn't revolve around you."

            Cho gave Hermione a look that said, "It doesn't?", but just gave a shriek and stalked out of the Great Hall, her friends fussing about her. 

            People began talking again as Hermione sat down, her friends congratulating her on that spectacular performance and handling the argument with class. 

            Harry shook his head at Hermione, though smiling. "You are one strange girl."

            "Oh, that's right, Cho said I'm a freak," grinned Hermione. 

            "Then you're a fabbity fab fab freak, Mio, 'cause we wouldn't want you any other way!" spoke up Ginny.  

            "Here, here!" came another voice, as others chimed in. 

            "To Hermione," said Lavender, standing, and holding her goblet out at her friend. "For livening up all our lives, and for being the freak we all love."

            "To Hermione!" the Gryffindors chorused, as Harry slipped an arm around Hermione's shoulders. A smile graced Hermione's lips, and at that moment, she was sure nothing could get any better than how she felt at that minute… that second…

            _Gee,_ thought Hermione, _who'd ever have guessed that everything had started because of some silly note passing?_

**-**

            So what happens next?

St. Aristippus Magical School for Boys expelled _Charles Madison, Nick Adams, Sean Backfield, Peter Walker, and Jason Fisher_. All five wizards later tried to sneak into Gringotts, and are currently spending the rest of their lives in Azkaban, without bail. 

            _Chad Brussels_ was expelled also, from Aristippus, but was accepted into Hogwarts. He ended up going into the Ministry, which had been his dream. Though, he didn't escape the 2.5 kids, 4.0 GPA, colonial house, perfect wife, and perfect job cliché. No, instead he married _Blaise Zabini_, who hassled the Ministry at every chance she got to make equal jobs for witches in the Ministry. Three years later, the bill was passed and witches could join the Ministry in any field they wished, whereas before they had been stuck as receptionists, journalists, doctors and secretaries in the Ministry Heads.

            _Lavender Brown_ ended up going to Paris to further her magical educations. Five years later, after becoming a famous daytime wizard soap star, she met _Ron Weasley_ at a Hogwarts Reunion. The two hit it off after meeting each other, and are still currently dating. 

            _Ginny Weasley_ finished her seventh year at Hogwarts at the top of her class, and became valedictorian. She was the first Weasley to do this, and Molly Weasley had bawled her eyes out at the graduation ceremony. While searching for a job in Diagon Alley, Ginny went into Flourish and Blotts, meeting accidentally _Draco Malfoy_ for the first time in two years. The two decided to have something to drink at The Leaky Cauldron, where they soon found soul mates in each other. Ginny would never stop thanking Draco for beating Charles up, and soon after, the two got engaged, married and are now expecting their first child.

            _Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan_ opened up a famous nightclub called The Pyramid, where all famous witches and wizards go. It is a hot spot, and is also the place where the Wizard Awards are held. The two also created the WA, which is like the Muggle Oscars. 

            _Parvati Patil_ married Dean Thomas soon after graduation, and they are currently happy parents of two adorable children. 

            _Cho Chang_ is spending time in Azkaban, because she helped in the 2005 Gringotts Bank Robbery, which included the aforementioned expelled St. Aristippus men. She is spending life in Azkaban, without bail.

            As for _Hermione Granger and Harry Potter_, well, they went steady at the end of their sixth year, continued on through their seventh, and became engaged later after graduation. There whereabouts is currently unknown, as they are taking a year off from their jobs to have an extended honeymoon.

            As for _WAM_ – **W**itches **A**gainst **M**ales was put down as the largest, shortest witches' right group that consisted purely of teenagers. Today, there is a new leader of the WAMs, though they don't do anything as drastic as Hermione Granger-Potter had when she was in school. Oh no – now they just free really dangerous animals from wizard zoos with the help of a half-giant, _Rubeus Hagrid_.

            _Professor Minerva McGonagall_ took up drinking shortly after the WAMs graduated, and ever since that fateful incident, has never taken a liking to a student ever since.

            _Professor Severus Snape_ ended up for the rest of his teaching days at Hogwarts chaperoning the students to Hogsmeade and being in charge of all dances. Sad to say, within four years he gave in his resignation and is currently living somewhere in California, USA, where he can get a tan and work on his oily hair, teaching Muggles how to surf.

            _The Flat Critters_, the band that played at Hogwarts that night, has sold out every concert they toured, and their newest magical CD, "The Hairy Bird", has sold over twenty million copies, most who are part of WAM and the graduates of Hermione's year – for nostalgic purposes, of course… 

            As for _Hogwarts_, the school has never seen anything quite like WAM ever since. But that doesn't mean that they won't in the future…

**-**

FIN

**-**

A/N: [July.20.02] Well… "Passing Notes"… is well… finished. Can you believe it? I had so much fun writing this story… I actually think once I post this chapter I'm going to go downstairs and watch the movie… 

**Fan** **tidbit**: Tinka's date, who gets more than a little excited, is actually Hayden Christensen – the movie was filled here in Toronto, and that seems to be Hayden's first role.

**Loz**: Actually, "All I Wanna Do/Strike" _is_ "The Hairy Bird" in Australia. Every place seems to have a different title for the movie… 

**Holly**: Many apologies, but I just thought up the name "Nick Adams". I'm sure there are tons of them out there, anyway… 

**xo starry nights**: Yep, Kirsten Dunst, Gaby Hoffmann, Lynn Redgrave, Heather Matarazzo, Rachael Leigh Cook, Monica Keena, Mathew Lawrence, and a few other rising stars.

**Sparkle Tangerine**: I hope Chad's explanation to McGonagall clears it up… if not, check back on chapter four when he and Hermione are at the Quidditch Pitch, right after she gives him a Miltown. **Miltown**: Treats tension, anxiety, and nervousness. Belongs to a class of drugs called tranquilizers. Basically, Hermione mellowed Chad out a little more than she needed to… Here are some side effects caused by **Miltowns**: slurred speech, severe drowsiness and weakness, trouble breathing, unexplained fever or sore throat, unusual bruising or bleeding, drowsiness, dizziness, clumsiness, vision changes. 

**Stoneheart**: Yah, Harry and Draco should have blasted those evil doers memory, but… I know from experience that when you get pretty upset or emotional, you don't think rationally, and that's what I wanted to try to achieve here. Hope that satisfies your craving for explanations!

**To everyone else who has read, reviewed, whatever**: Thank you all so much for taking time to read "Passing Notes"! I hope you laughed along with the characters, felt bad when they did, and understood (maybe even a smidgeon) of what they were going through, because hey – we were all teenagers at one time (or maybe are, or going to be!).

~~ Kneazle


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